What's my life?

update

2010-04-30T08:40:00.001-06:00

For my sister:
I'm updating. I'm pregnant, I'm going to be living with my boyfriend as soon as his school year ends in about 2.5ish weeks. I'm going to be the maid of honor in one of my best friends wedding who is FINALLY marrying the person I've been trying to hook her up with since my freshman year in college. (You're welcome!) I'm due in August and can't believe I'm going to be a mother.
I still work at T-Mobile. I have lots of good friends and family.
My mom moved up to my town to be near her soon to be grand baby. No we aren't finding out if it's going to be a boy or girl. It's a baby 100%.

Happy now? :D

Half a year later...anyone still read this?

2009-05-21T13:48:00.003-06:00

So yes this year is a much slower posting year than last. So much has happened since my last post. I'm getting a divorce that's the biggie. Am I happy about it? No who's ever happy about their marriage failing. Am I relieved? Yeah kinda to be honest. I still love Gehnen I always will. It wasn't a lack of love that ended the marriage. We both still love each other and maybe that makes it harder because we do. We just...we just aren't fit to be married to each other any more. We didn't see eye to eye on some key things in our lives anymore. Maybe it stemmed from being together since we were 19. Nearly 10 years later and we just aren't the same people anymore. I don't think either of us are bad people just not who we used to be, not who we each fell in love with all those years ago. I still have every hope and faith that we will be able to remain friends for the rest of our lives but I think it will take some time before we can really enjoy the friendship of each other. Right now we are both going through a lot of hurt. Some things still hit each other a bit harder because of the love we have for each other.

So we are moving on. Things start to really change in the middle of June that's when he moves out of the house. I'll be in the house till about November. There's a chance some other things will change that will have me moving out before then but that's not 100% known just yet. But regardless I'm looking forward to some change. Though I don't like moving I do like change I like a fresh start a time to start over.

I'm actually dating again. Am talking to a couple of nice guys, yet again met online. It's different to date. I've not really expierenced it before. When Gehnen and I met it was states away. And we didn't date, we talked we enjoyed time with each other via the comp or the phone but nothing face to face really till I moved to Cali. Now I'm actually going on dates while I get to know these guys. It's a unusual and fun expierence. I'm enjoying getting to know each other face to face.

That's my update for now enjoy

A new year...again

2009-01-06T08:19:00.002-06:00

It's a new year again, so what's that mean now? I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet. A hope of something better that's for sure but there is always that. A sense of longing for the past year and the disappointment that it wasn't as good as you had hoped. There's usually that too unfortunately.

So where am I know? Still in Missouri about to finish year 4 and start year 5 in March. Working at T-mobile still and praying that I've been doing well enough to get a good shift in Feb when they fuck us all around again and not go back to seeing my husband only on Sat & Sun. Happily getting to know my Bulldog better. Hoping it continues to work well. Hoping all my friendships grow stronger and not weaker.

Strangely I feel a small sense of longing for what I know is unhealthy for me but I miss what it was even if it wasn't real. Even if I had been lied to for years to make it something that I wanted at all. Perhaps the saying "ignorance is bliss" is true. I was happy at the time though I now know that it was largely fake. Would I want to go back to that? Sometimes. Put me back in the Matrix...nah. I think I like honesty too much. I'd rather know the truth that continue to be friends with someone who secretly can't stand me. Not fun, makes you question other things when you learn the truth about that though, at least for a time.

I'm looking forward to this year. Hoping that this one succeeds where past years have failed. Perhaps, and likely, it's myself that's failed in the past so perhaps this will be the year that I can succeed at what I want. Have my dreams come true...figure out exactly what my dreams are. Isn't that sometimes the hardest part? Deciding what you actually want out of life so you know what to go get? Does it ever just click? When it's the right decision does it make itself for you or is there always that time of self doubt. That part where you go, is this right or wrong? Am I going to be happy in the long run or am I just royally fucking myself over by taking the left path instead of the right? That, for me, is the worst part deciding which way to go when you get to a fork in the road. Left or right, I wish I had some binoculars so I could see down the path of each a bit, find out which one has more happy spots. It's not that I want to know it all I don't. I'm just scared shitless I'll bake the wrong decision and be unhappy in the long run for it.
Surely someone out there knows what I mean? I'm sure we've all been there before. Well it's a new year and a new chance for the right choices at a new path. I wish us all the best of luck.

Happy New Year.

An update on me

2008-11-18T09:07:00.004-06:00

I got a shift change!!!!!!!! Oh I'm so excited I get to see my husband (Gehnen) seven days a week now. It's amazing. Well it will be, I just started yesterday but still I'm oh so excited. I work M-F still which is great and I work 9:30-6:30 with an hour lunch. So I'm home around seven instead of 10:30 which I'm so so so excited about. It means no more having to cram everything I want to do into just 2 days.

My birthday was last week. I had a blast. Came home early from work and spent time with my family. Just chilled out watching TV and playing video games. Gehnen got me the next in the Tales of Symphonia series this one for the Wii, now I really need to hunker down and finish up the one I have. I think I'm pretty close but not really sure. Either way I need to finish it up so I can start the next one. Then on Saturday I went and had sushi with a bunch of friends for my birthday dinner which was great. Always love to be surrounded by friends for my b-day. And what better dinner than sushi! So yummy, I ended up having sushi three times in eight days I mean really you can't get much better than that. Ok you can but it'd be hard. :D

Also I've started seeing a guy I met on line. He's a real sweetheart. Been talking to him for about four weeks now. Bulldog is his tag for this blog here. He's got a dark streak but it's in a way I love not evil at all so no worries there. He's a very good friend and even if nothing else comes of it I'm happy to have him in my life. The worst part is just that he lives about an hour away so it's hard to see him on the spur of the moment and either of us going to see the other results in a longish trip and time away from our families just because you have 2 hours taken in travel time alone, well maybe an hour and a half for him I think he must drive like a bat out of hell on the highway.

The holidays are coming up. We're hosting Thanksgiving at our house again. Alyssa and Benny will be over as will Lushious most likely. So we should have a nice time. I unfortuantly do have to work the next day we were possibly going to be closed and now we for sure are going to be open. And yet I'm still going to kill myself and wake up at bitch o'clock in the morning and go shopping with Neri to get the good deals.

My mom is coming up here for Christmas which is very exciting. We've not been able to celebrate Christmas together since I moved to Cali and this will be the first holiday she's celebrated with Gehnen at all. On top of that I will have seen her for a total of 3 times in one year which is a record since I moved out of Texas. Whee!!

ebay

2008-10-13T07:44:00.001-06:00

For those wondering...we won the thing I was obsessively clicking refresh for.

blah

2008-10-12T19:19:00.005-06:00

My head hurts.

I had a good weekend though. I had Friday off from work cause my hubby was in a wedding on Sat and needed to be places on Fri. So I took the day off since under normal circumstances I would have been at work till 10 and he needed to be places by like 2:30ish. So I had a short work week. Got to see some friends with my extra time.

I went out to breakfast on Friday with a new friend hense forth named Wayne (for some fucked up reason, he picked it don't blame me) and that was fun. Getting to talk to him and get to know him better. My Demon showed up at the end of breakfast with Wayne and got to meet him. They got along rather nicely so that was a bonus.

After leaving my new friend, my Demon and I went to have lunch together. We had Indian food that was oh so yummy. Talked about everything we'd been missing on since we hardly get to see each other with my new sched being what it is. Talked about the possible new guy in my life which is exciting. The newness and such. Still not sure exactly what's going to happen on that front we shall see. But I'm hopeful.

Sat was a full day of wedding stuff. I did get to relax in the morning which I can't even say for Gehnen since he was a groomsman and busy all damn day with wedding shit. He had to be at the Grooms house by 9:45 and we didn't get home till oh...7:30 that evening. But it was a beautiful wedding. The bride was stunning the dress fit her perfectly and the groom was handsome even as nervous as he was. I ended up at a table where I was the only one who had never worked at the place they all have. But it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. I hadn't seen some of them in a while and hadn't met some of them at all but over all it was enjoyable and once my husband showed up I was a happy camper.

Today I went out with Alyssa to lunch and then a bit of window shopping. I was looking for a new purse because I'm really wanting one but I haven't been able to find one I really like. I still haven't found one worth spending money on sadly :( But I did enjoy my time with Alyssa.

My headache is finally going away...

Before lunch with Alyssa I went shopping for Halloween costume stuff with Neri and Gehnen. I got the bulk of my costume but the time consuming part is going to be the hair/headpiece. I'm gonna be Medusa and I need to get the snakes worked into a wig so I can have that. I think it'll be great. I'm looking forward to Halloween this year. We are either going to a party or going to the Pub Crawl downtown. One way or another we'll be surrounded by drunkerds in great costumes so it should be a blast.

Ok that's all for now I need to go obsessivly click refresh on an ebay bid for Gehnen.

I really hate stupid people

2008-10-02T08:10:00.003-06:00

So two days ago I talked to what has to be the dumbest person I'd ever talked to. I was at work. And on the whole at work I usually talk to pretty bright people or at least people who can communicate and live with the majority of society and not piss half of us off. This guy on the other hand....dear goddess help me please when dealing with people like this guy.

At the end of the 30 minute conversation I was praying that he was just fucking with me and not really that stupid. No really I was. I was half tempted to tell him to cut out the bullshit and stop acting like a moron because I really really hoped that he was just a VERY good actor and pulling my leg just to get his jollies.

The reason he called in? He needed to know how to send a text message, ok fine. I know not everyone deals well with technology (though my mom figured it out with out calling HER cell phone provider OR me). So that part of the call was ok. I easily walked him through the steps and he seemed to get it.

Then he mentioned how he liked that the "keys [were] hid" on his phone. Yes congrats you have a slider phone they are great I love mine too. Then he wanted to know about OTHER Samsung phones.... ok you JUST bought this one and you haven't even really used it yet (I know because he set it up and called into us) but you want to know about other phones...fine. I give him the run down on other samsung phones. He asks which one I like best, well I don't really like telling someone which phone they should pick because if they don't like it they call back in and bitch because the person who told them about the phone didn't tell them about X (insert grip here).

So I tell him maybe he should go to the store, there he can see what kind of phones they have available and see which one he likes the most. He finally sees that this is a great idea, bad news...no my company corp owned stores in his area. But wait there is a Target... I tell him let me give you the number so you can call and make sure they have the phones you want to look at (he had narrowed it down to a couple based on my descriptions)

This is the part where I decided I'd rather take a spoon and dig my eye out than stay at work and talk to him. I give him the number to Target 856-623-2068...So it's 856-23-0286....no, no it's not. I repeat it 8.5.6....6.2.3....2.0.6.8, Ok I got 856-23- is the zero before or after the two......it's after....ok so 0268?.....*me starting to look like an insane person because my eyes are growing wide* No it's 2....0....6....8. Ok so is the zero before or after the two?....ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!?!?! I'm not kidding I read the number off PAINFULLY slow. I gave him PLENTY of time between each number to write it down directly as I was speaking it.

Now before anyone posts nasty bitchy things to me. Yes I know that perhaps he was dyslexic I did think of that. However he claimed the acct was in his name and you have to be 18 to have an acct in your own name so there for by this time in his life you would HOPE he has at least had some kind of teaching that allows him some tricks as to how to live and cope with dyslexia if that is indeed his problem and not just years of inbreeding. I'm not kidding you I read that number well over 20 times to him. I said each number again with so much time in between so that he could just start fresh and write down the number as I said it and not have to worry about which was in front of what.

And after all that...after saying them so slow an arthritic grandmother who has alzheimers would memorize the number. He didn't get it right. I lied to him. I'm sorry it was awful of me but he just.didn't.get.it. He didn't there was nothing I was going to say that would help him figure out what the fuck the number was. He was simply an inbreed idiot from Alabama

What to do with the economic bailout

2008-10-01T07:53:00.004-06:00

I'm not sure who wrote this I wish I was because I would love to credit them with it but I think it's absofukinglutly amazing I'll support this 100%!

I like the thinking of this... Why, I wonder would this NEVER go??? Big brother/Politicians?!?

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in
a 'We Deserve It Dividend'.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000
bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman
and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 Billion that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a
'We Deserve It Dividend'.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads entering the work force.
Put away money for college - it'll be there to assist education.
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car, buy anything - create jobs.
Invest in the market - capital drives growth
Pay for you or your parent's medical insurance - health care improves.
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else.

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company
that is cutting back. And definitely, for those bravely serving in our Armed Forces.

So, if we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out
a puny $1000.00 ( 'buy your vote' ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one
of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S
Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work.'

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the '$85 Billion
We Deserve It Dividend' more than I do the geniuses at AIG or our politicians in Washington DC .

And remember, This plan really only costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5
Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel So much better getting that off my chest.

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a laugh,
a tear, or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

sorry

2008-08-21T22:57:00.002-06:00

Ok so I know I've been totally slack in writing anything on here but for the longest time I just didn't feel the draw to write. I've been in hiding in a way online. But here I is whether you like it or not.
So since I've last written I've started a new job and been there for 5.5 weeks now. I'm working customer service at an amazing company. One that gives amazing benefits for it's employees. I'm really actually enjoying myself and I've already made some new friends.
Not to terribly much going on in my life right now. I did get down to Texas saw some friends and family that I haven't seen in a while. I'm already itching to go back I miss them tons. One of my best friends is dating another of my really good friends and I'm happy for them. I hope it works out great.
I've met a few amazing women at my new job and have been enjoying going out with them usually once a week at least to hang out and relax. It's been nice.
My schedule does suck in that most of my other friends are on different schedules than me so I haven't seen them as much. And once my sched changes past training it's gonna get worse cause I'll be a mid shift and won't get off till 10 pm during the week so I'll pretty much not see my husband at all except on the weekends. But hopefully that only lasts till Feb when I can change my sched again.
I've been doing something secretly that I'm not gonna expand on here yet but I'm excited about and hopefully it will become known to others soon enough.
Ok I'm really tired now so I think I'm gonna go to bed.

Stolen from an e-mail

2008-07-12T12:01:00.001-06:00

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians....It creates a hostile work environment.

Blog Tour Part IX

2008-06-14T11:08:00.003-06:00

So I've been kinda slack in writing anything new here. For those of you who take the time to click on my little blog and look you haven't had anything new to read since the beginning of the month. Now I do realize that the month is only half over so you've gone approximately 9 day without anything new from me. So for you patient people...here is something new. You're welcome.

What are you planning on doing this summer/what are you most looking forward to doing?

That is the latest blog tour topic. And here is my response. I WANNA NEW JOB! :) And the good news is I may have one I really really like shortly however it won't start until July 15th. The better news (if I get the job) is that I have a temp job for the next 2 weeks which will keep me busy till right before I go to Texas to visit some friends and family I haven't seen in 2 years. And then when I get back on the 8th I'll have about a week of free time to unpack clean and put away my clothes before I start my new job. And knowing me it could very well take the full week to unpack, clean, and put away my clothes. :D

So what I am looking forward to most is a new job however I am also ecstatic about said trip to Texas. I get to go down on Thurs see my 4 nieces, 5 my great nephews and great nieces. My two sisters, possibly two brothers in law (depending on if one is one the road or not and what the others work sched is), and a partridge in a pear tree. Ok it's TX so probably no partridges but I could see pear trees if anyone has decided to plant them. I also get to see my mom and one of my closest childhood friends on Thursday night. Not to mention one of my bestest friends TC who has been so kind to offer to drive me around hither and thither while I'm down there as Alyssa (my SIL) is driving me as far as my sisters house before going to see her brother, SIL, niece, and newest family addition her nephew. Who at the time of publishing this has yet to be born. Then I get to see some friends from church and highschool on Friday stay with a friend Friday night. Do some of this and that on Saturday. Eat at all those places that they don't have where I live now. (come on, I'm a fatty of course my vacation is gonna include food.)
Generally it should be a great trip and I'm really really really looking forward to it.

bummer realizations

2008-06-05T09:39:00.002-06:00

So I quit my job a couple of weeks ago. Looking for another one, had an interview didn't get it. But that's not what this post is about.
What it is about is that I am pretty sure I'll never see Fredrick again. Which is sad. I knew even at the time that I likely was hoping for more than would ever actually happen but what your brain says logically and your heart hopes for are quite often two different things.

I thought I would write more but this is all I want to write.

Blog Tour VIII Favorite Scent

2008-06-02T14:06:00.003-06:00

Last weeks topic was our favorite scent and I didn't post, I didn't think I was going to post at all. I don't really have a favorite scent. I enjoy smelling things sure I enjoy flowers and fresh cut grass. I like the smell of yummy bread being baked. Or when Neri cooks something extra yummy in the oven. But I couldn't really think of a favorite scent. I was reading another one of the blog tour posts and was reminded of something that always makes me nostalgic and usually happy.
The smell of lumber. It reminds me of my father, specifically being with him on a job site when I was younger. He worked in construction. He had his own business he worked for others, he was the guy nailing all the 2x4s together, he was the job foremen. He did it all from the lowest of the low to the top. Now my dad didn't always live with my mom and I and they ended up splitting around the time I was in 3rd or 4th grade (I don't remember exactly.) I didn't always have good times with him or want to be with him or even liked him. But I always enjoyed being on a job with him. From the time I could walk pretty much I had been on job sites with him. I'd carry a hammer (both hands cause it was heavy) I'd hand him nails. I even got to sit on a stack of plywood that was on a forklift and be lifted up to the second floor once. I love it.
And so to this day if I'm near lumber fresh cut or open edges (so the scent isn't sealed in) I smell it and I think of my dad and I either cry because he's gone or I'm happy because I remember the times I enjoyed being with him as a child.
And that my friends is my favorite scent.

What I've done. (some of it anyway)

2008-06-02T09:44:00.001-06:00

How Many Things Have You Lived Through?

I have read a lot of books.

I have been on some sort of varsity team.

I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.

I have been to Canada.

I have been to Europe.

I have watched cartoons for hours.

I have tripped UP the stairs.

I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.

I have been snowboarding/skiing.

I have played ping pong.

I swam in the ocean.

I have been on a whale watch.

I have seen fireworks.

I have seen a shooting star.

I have seen a meteor shower.

I have almost drowned.

I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

I have listened to one CD over & over & over again.

I have had stitches.

I have had frostbite.

I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.

I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.

I currently have a job.

I have been ice skating.

I have been rollerblading

I have fallen flat on my face.

I have tripped over my own two feet.

I have been in a fist fight.

I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.

I have watched the power rangers.

I attend Church regularly.

I have played truth or dare.

I have already had my 16th birthday.

I have already had my 17th birthday.

I've called someone stupid.

I've been in a verbal argument.

I've cried in school.

I've played basketball on a team.

I've played baseball on a team.

I've played football on a team.

I've played soccer on a team.

I've done cheerleading on a team.

I've played softball on a team.

I've played volleyball on a team.

I've played tennis on a team.

I've been on a track or cross country team.

I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.

I've bungee jumped.

I've climbed a rock wall.

I've lost more than $20.

I've called myself an idiot.

I've called someone else an idiot.

I've cried myself to sleep.

I've had (or have) pets.

I've owned a spice girls CD.

I've owned a britney spears CD.

I've owned an N*Sync CD.

I've owned a backstreet boys CD.

I've mooned someone.

I have sworn at someone of authority before.

I've been in the newspaper.

I've been on TV.

I've been to Hawaii.

I've eaten sushi.

I've been on the other side of a waterfall.

I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.

I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.

I've watched all of the Rocky movies.

I've watched the 3 stooges.

I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.

I've watched Looney Tunes.

I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.

I've been called a geek.

I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.

I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.

I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.

I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.

I've met a celebrity/music artist.

I've written poetry.

I've been arrested.

I've been attracted to someone much older than me.

I've been tickled till I've cried.

I've tickled someone else until they cried.

I've had/have siblings.

I've been to a rock concert.

I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.

I've been in a play.

I've been picked last in gym class.

I've been picked first in gym class.

I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

I've cried in front of my friends.

I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.

I've played Halo 2.

I've freaked out over a sports game.

I've been to Alaska.

I've been to China.

I've been to Spain.

I've been to Japan.

I've had a fight with someone on AIM.

I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.

I've had serious conversations using IM.

I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.

I've been forgiven.

I've screamed at a scary movie.

I've cried at a chick flick.

I've watched a lot of action movies.

I've screamed at the top of my lungs.

I've been to a rap concert.

I've been to a hip hop concert.

I've lived in more than 2 houses.

I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.

I've driven more than 400 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 400 miles in a day.

I've been in a car accident.

I've done drugs.

I've been homesick.

I've thrown up.

I've puked on someone.

I've been horseback riding.

I've filled out more than 10 myspace surveys.

I've spoken my mind in public.

I've proved someone wrong.

I've been proven wrong by someone.

I've broken a leg.

I've broken an arm.

I've fallen off a swing.

I've swung on a swing for more than 30 mins straight.

I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.

I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.

I've lost my backpack.

I've come close to dying.

I've seen someone die.

I've known someone who has died.

I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.

I've done modeling.

I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.

I've taken something/someone for granted.

I've realized how good my life is.

I've counted my blessings.

I've made fun of a classmate.

I've been asked out by someone and I said no.

I've slapped someone in the face.

I've been skateboarding.

I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.

I've lied to someone to their face.

I've told a little white lie.

I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.

I've fainted.

I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.

I've pushed someone into a pool.

I've been pushed into a pool.

I've been/are in love.

Amatokin

I have lived through 104 things. Find out how many things you have lived through by taking the survey at TheTopTens

Top Ten List - Best Myspace Surveys

Why do we care?

2008-05-29T11:38:00.003-06:00

Why do we care what others think of us? What is the purpose of it? It serves to make us feel bad or insecure or worried. Others judge us and it can do damage to our self esteem. If you are happy with you then be happy. Don't worry about what others think. Don't spend your life hiding who you really are because someone somewhere may not approve.

I'm not sure exactly who said this and I'm not exactly sure if it was worded this way. But the general idea I like.

The people that are worth it won't care and those that care aren't worth it.

The people in your life that choose to dislike you over something that is inherently you just aren't worth it. The people who choose to judge you and make assumptions of you because of rumors and hearsay aren't worth it. The people who are worth it are those that know you to the core and love and accept you for exactly who you are and actually KNOW who you are instead of thinking they know anything about you.

I have a lifestyle that not all understand or approve of. Some think that because I live this way I will attempt to steal someone away from their SO. It's just not the case no matter how much I care for someone I would never attempt to steal them. If they came willingly well that's another story. :D My dad cheated on my mom for a great many years and saw nothing wrong with it. He put my mom's health at risk and it's just not something I have the desire to do. I don't want to be the "other woman" to any man.

But regardless of what I say or how I say it some people will always assume that because of my lifestyle I'm a man stealer or want to be and you know what I just don't give a flying monkeys ass what they think. I did. But it's something I've had to start dealing with within myself. Why do I care what good is it for me to worry about what someone else thinks of me. They certainly aren't my friends so what does it matter? And in the end I realized it doesn't. So to those that think poorly of me and don't know me well kiss it because I am just not going to let it bother me anymore.

Thanks and have a great day!

My weekend

2008-05-19T18:42:00.002-06:00

So I posted about no good deed and such. I'm feeling much better now. I still have an occasional back pain and will likely go to the chiro once I get a claim number from the insurance. I am supposed to go and get 2 quotes for my car repair. I was hoping it'd be like my accident where they gave me a list of places I could go and I wouldn't have to worry about the quote or anything like that but I guess it's not to be this time.

Saturday was Gehnen's b-day party. His b-day is actually Tomorrow (Tue) but we wanted to celebrate on the weekend to give us more time. We went to the park and BBQed some burgers and hotdogs. We also did some nerfing but not nearly as much as dear hubby would have liked. But I wasn't up to top form and my back was hurting me some at the time. We got there about 11 and are glad we did get there so early because the park and all the BBQ pits got full quite fast after we arrived. We ended up leaving just before 3 and enjoyed the day a great deal. Was absolutely perfect park weather.

Saturday night Alyssa and I went to a party for my co-workers b-day. Saturday was his actual birthday. Alyssa and I both ended up getting drunk. Neither of us had really had anything to drink since our SIL was out visiting in February and I think we've both become something of a light weight. And it wasn't any help that the very first drink we both had was a screw driver that was about half vodka and half OJ. The b-day boy was very generous. I also ended up fooling around a bit with one of the party guests. Good kisser that one. Alyssa had to assure another party guest that no my hubby would not be upset with me kissing another man which was actually nice to know that people out there are still concerned with fidelity.

Alyssa is quite a funny drunk. She was quite adamant about no one driving while drunk (which is a very good thing to be adamant about) but then she quite willingly got into the car of another guest (who was indeed drunk) so they could go to taco bell and obtain some food. Also after we left and I drove the 30 mins from where the party was to Alyssa's house she decided at that point that I was too drunk to drive and stole my keys from the ignition. My BIL Benny had to convince her that I was just fine to drive and that no Gehnen in fact would not be mad at her for letting me driving the rest of the way home.

Unfortunately the next day Alyssa had quite the hangover and has sworn off drinking...until we go to Vegas where she won't have much choice. ;)

Dream Job Blog Tour VII

2008-05-19T18:18:00.003-06:00

So I completely miss a week and then I do that one and the current one back to back.

What is your dream job, and if you don't/didn't have it, how did that happen?

To be honest I had 3 dream jobs between first grade and my first year of college.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to be a teacher when I was in first grade. That is what I wanted to do. I'd have little craft kits and I'd set up my class room just so. I knew all this in 1st grade. I loved my teacher, she even went to my church so I ended up knowing her my entire school career (after a year of college I moved away and don't see her anymore). Said year in college was actually starting on my education degree. However shortly after taking some classes I realized it just wasn't for me and that I was out of my mind to think I'd make a good teacher. One of my best friends TC is a great teacher but she and I have near polar opposite personalities and mine just isn't the right one for teaching.

In 3rd grade I fell in love with marine biology. I loved (and do to this day) marine life. It amazes me. In fact I did a report on I think about 20 different marine animals completely voluntary. My teacher ended up grading it and even averaged that into my grade for the period I think. I was fascinated by it all. But the nitty gritty details I just didn't have the mind for.

My final dream job was to be a fashion designer. Oh goddess I love designing clothes however I do not have the skills needed for fashion design you know that little small skill known as drawing. It escapes my grasp. That and fashion is so hard to break into.

So what "dream job" do I want at this point in my life? I'd like to be an office manager some day. I think it'd be a good fit for me. I'm fair with co-workers and I'm good and keeping people flowing and on target I think without being an utter bitch about it all.

Bucket List Blog Tour part VI

2008-05-19T17:52:00.006-06:00

Well the topic due last Sat was my very own topic and yet I didn't post it in time. Shame on me I guess. I posted a couple of times this just wasn't what I was in the mood to post on sorry guys.

So what do I want to do before my time on this round place ends?

I want to visit every US state.
I want to go overseas at least once: London, Paris, Australia, Italy, almost anywhere. :)
I want to lose weight and be a size 12
I want to make enough money to not worry about my monthly bills
I want to be able to go into a bookstore and buy 10 books without thinking about how this will hit my bank account.
I want to go on a vacation with my husband
I want to have kids
I want to go rock climbing on real rocks and not just indoors.
I want to meet Johnny Depp (so that might not happen but it'd sure be nice.)
I want to spend a day at the spa getting pampered
I want to finish the cross stitch I've been working on for 2 years so far. *smiles sheepishly*
I want to go back to Mt Shasta and spend a week or two camping there and climb up as far as I can on Mt. Shasta.

I'm sure there are plenty more but that's it for this list.

Real Live vs. Politics

2008-05-16T14:18:00.000-06:00

No good deed goes unpunished

2008-05-16T13:32:00.004-06:00

So I was going to pickup lunch for my boss because I have the freedom to leave before the lunch rush starts around here and he only has a 30 min lunch break. On the way to grab it I saw Fredrick walking home. He had been sent home because he was sick. So I offered to give him a ride home which he took me up on.

After I dropped him off I was on my way back to the office when the car in front of me slowed down because the car in front of him was turning. The truck behind me was going too fast or just didn't notice I had slowed down. Either way I glance up into my rear view mirror and see the look of terror on his face as he realizes he's going to hit me. And he hits me hard.

Bent my bumper and my license plate. And my truck is probably about a quarter of an inch higher than it should be. I was feeling fine at first and then started to get a headache while waiting for the police. They had to be called because he was in a company pickup truck and they have to have a police report filed.

So that took an hour or so for the cop to show up and do all his paperwork. So the accident happened around 11:30 and now 2ish hours later my back is really starting to hurt. My headache hasn't gone away despite the fact that I took 2 Excedrin as soon as I got back into the office. So as soon as I leave work it's off to Urgent care I go.

And so you see...no good deed goes unpunished.

Another rant.

2008-05-14T08:27:00.004-06:00

On a forum I read someone posted about their child being in a school play and about the costume that all the little girls wore and how she, the mother, disagreed with the costume. It was your typical dance outfit a leotard and tights. The mom had a problem with the fact that they were nude tights and a black leotard. Now this is typical of nearly any dance studio that you could sign your kids up for.

This mom in particular was very unhappy at seeing her kid in this outfit (she didn't see it until her daughter was on stage at the performance). I'm sorry but I honestly just do not see the problem. Now many may disagree with me. But I think as a nation we can censor our kids and what they see too much.

What is so wrong with a child in a leotard and tights. She was upset particularly because they were nude tights and not black or something. But that costume usually hides all the necessary bits. I don't think I've ever seen a child look scandalous in that kind of a costume. And she wasn't even a solo act she was dancing with a number of other kids all in the same costume. Now some might say that "oh noes but a child molester might have seen them" I'm sorry but someone looking for kiddies is going to find something to get their kicks off to no matter WHAT the kid is wearing. They could be in jeans and a long sleeve shirt (or a floor length skirt for those that feel pants are more provocative) and some sick fuck into kids could still think horrid things about them.

We have gotten to an age (as a country) where we are far to paranoid that the worst is going to happen. (no the woman who put up the post that got me on my kick didn't suggest anything other than she thought it indecent I'm just ranting) I am sick and tired of it. I'm sorry but kids wearing dance outfits aren't going to become sluts or automatically going to signal some sicko somewhere to track them down. Nor are kids playing video games going to automatically go out with a gun because when they die there is another life to bring them back.

We need to parent our children but not encase them in bubbles that shatter upon their entry into the adult world. We need to help them make good decisions not take away the option to make any. We need to calm down and realize that while bad things do happen and you can protect yourself and your family unless you move to the wilderness and go back a few decades there is always the chance that something will happen.

We are raising a generation of children with two extremes and neither is good. To either protect them so much (like I could see happening in the case of the mother and daughter mentioned above) or to not parent them at all. We need to find a compromise and we need to change our way of thinking as a nation. It's not good to be so damned paranoid.

Also...I like what this person said.

Reliving Highschool?

2008-05-01T20:12:00.006-06:00

The Demon keeps saying I'm reliving high school with all the drama that I have going on. Only thing is I never had this much drama while I was in high school. So she says that I'm making up for it. But the thing is I'd really rather not. It's not like the drama is fun. Some of the things that CAUSE the drama are, I'll admit, fun but the drama itself not so much. The craziness going on in my head where I know what I think/feel/want is wrong but my heart doesn't seem to want to pay attention.

Fredrick has recently admitted to me that he cares a great deal for me. Yes yes I know he's still with his bitch of a girl. And yes I know I should put a screeching halt to this on both his side and mine and yet I don't. Why not? Because a part of me hopes that he will realize just how bad the bitch is for him and he'll leave her. And if he does I'll get to date him. I realize this is a completely selfish thing to want. So I guess that's where the high school part comes in. I like a guy who's with another girl and he likes me back and right now it's going no where.

I know that many people won't like or understand this part of my life. But I don't want to go into all the details. I'm starting to get used to people placing judgment on me for how my husband and I chose to live our lives. Again for anyone who is worried I have no desire to steal anyone away from someone they care about. I'm just waiting for it to happen so I can get what I so selfishly want.

Blog Tour part V

2008-04-30T09:59:00.005-06:00

So I've missed a couple or three topics for the Blog tour but I'm back. Did ya miss me? :)
This week is a simple one, what do I plan to do for my "summer vacation?" Well I don't really get a summer vacation cause I work all summer long but I do have travel plans so I'll share those. I'm going to go back to TX to visit friends and family I haven't seen since Benny and Alyssa got married in '06. That should be tons of fun. I'm really looking forward to it. Not the drive though so I'm trying to talk a couple of friends into going with me so we can share the driving time. Alyssa might come because her nephew is due around then and then my Demon w/ Boobs might come just because.

Either way I'm hoping someone does or I'm gonna be one tired puppy when I finally make it down there. It's a 10-12 hour drive depending on how fast I go and which way I go and traffic which might not be all that great considering I'm going home for the 4th of July weekend. Oh joy to me.

Then in October (which I know isn't tech summer but you get to hear about it anyway) my husband's school (in Cali) is having a reunion and wants to go and I really want to go with him but we'll have to check finances because later in the month I'm already planning on going to Vegas for TC's b-day celebration. Which should be a total blast. TC, Alyssa, and I are really looking forward to it. The last time the 3 of us went on a vacation together was in '00 when we went to Cali to meet Gehnen and Benny for the first time ever. Now we've done things together since but no actual vacations. So really looking forward to that.

And those are all my plans at least for the moment. Though I am sure we'll end up at the park a few days to BBQ or to play Nerf. And in May we are having Gehnen's b-day in the park with BBQ AND Nerf by special request. Which reminds me I need to let some people know the date.

Blog Tour IV

2008-04-29T13:36:00.000-06:00

So when did I become a woman? Not by age but by mind and feeling. I'd say I was a late bloomer in that aspect. I felt like a kid just pretending for quite a while. You would think that moving to a state half way across the country at 20 would do it. Or moving into an apartment with Alyssa at 22 (23?) would do it. But honestly I just didn't feel grown up then. I didn't feel like a woman.

Then Gehnen and I decided to move half way across the country together. So not only was I moving but I was moving with my future husband. And then we bought a house and then we got married.

I think for me it would have to have been when we walked into our house after signing a million and a half pieces of paper that it really hit me...OMG I'm a grown up. I am a woman. Yes I'd done plenty of things that women do before then. I had been *whispers* intimate, with my hubby. I had moved across many states twice ending up in one where I only knew 4 adults and 2 kids and 2 of the adults had moved with me. I had paid my own bills I had purchased a car but none of that really made me feel like a woman. For me it was the house. That was what sealed the deal.

Now that's not to say I'm completely grown up. Not by a long shot and that's ok. I like being a kid in some aspects. I play video games and read young adult and even children's books that are well written. I have, as one of my best friends says, the drama of a high schooler going on right now which I'm not going to go into details on. So while I'm a woman I'm still very much a kid too. And I like that about myself so it's all good. :)

My Hell

2008-04-26T11:56:00.001-06:00

Rednecks
Circle I Limbo

Republicans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

PETA Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Scientologists
Circle VII Burning Sands

George Bush
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Saddam Hussein
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

So there is this guy...

2008-04-24T16:48:00.006-06:00

There is this guy that I like quite a bit. (who whenever mentioned from here on out will be Fredrick) He's sweet and caring. He makes me laugh. He listens when I need to vent and has even seen me cry though I've tried to hide it from him. I get excited simply by him touching my elbow to get my attention. I can get lost in his eyes at times. He's a good friend and I wish there could be more. The only problem is he has a psychotic bitch of a girl.

This girl is insanely jealous and would never consent to sharing him with me. Even though I have no desire to steal him from her. And while I realize that my lifestyle isn't for everyone this woman won't even let him have female friends. And before anyone thinks I'm a hussy I am not the type of woman to steal a guy from someone he's committed to. He really does deserve better than her.

It's hard to have feelings for someone you can't be with. And it's hard when you didn't even set out to have feelings for them. You were just friends and the more you talked the more you found you liked each other and the more it sucked that you couldn't be with the other. I know I need to stop having feelings for this guy but I don't want to stop being his friend and the more I get to know him the more I like him.

The worst part about all of this is again the girl. He would be completely fine being the "other" man. He knows I'm married and plan to stay that way. He knows he'd have to share me with my husband and he's cool with that. It's hard to find a guy willing to be that person in a relationship. And here I find one, and a nice sweet one at that, and he's taken...by a CRAZY woman. Goddess I just wish they'd split up already. Hell even if he and I were never anything more than friends he needs to leave her.

I realize this is mostly just rambling but it's easier and quicker for me to type than write so this is kinda like a journal entry for me that I tried to write so that it could make some kind of sense to anyone else reading it.

My personality...

2008-04-23T19:50:00.000-06:00

Go here to see

How to treat a woman

2008-04-11T17:25:00.002-06:00

Looking up

2008-04-11T08:55:00.002-06:00

I've been in a good mood pretty much all week. There have been a couple of eh moments to be sure but nothing really and truly depressing. I'm so happy for that! I've felt relaxed and comfortable. It's a nice feeling and I didn't realize just how down I had been feeling and how much my stress was piling up on me. I knew I was having bad moments and depressed days but I didn't realize how much it was effecting me, even when I thought I was in a good mood those bad thoughts were still niggling in my brain. I hope that this continues. That what changed continues to change and continues to work.

I've really kept up with this whole blogging thing a lot more than I ever have before. With this post I will have surpassed the most amount of posts in one year. In '05 which was the year I blogged the most I had 29 posts all year. So far in '08 (all 3.5 months of it) I'll have 30 posts. Not bad considering. I was hoping to write daily and I haven't done that but I have been writing more. Now I just need to get off my ass and work on the creative blog post that I have due a week from Sat. That one I'm nervous about. I enjoy writing but I'm afraid that people won't think it's good enough. And yet at the same time I know I can't get better without just writing and getting peoples opinions.

Daily Photo 3

2008-04-10T18:02:00.003-06:00

Now I realize what you think you see but I promise you it is not the case. What you think you see is a lake. What you actually are looking at is a sink hole filled with about a day and a half of rain. It will be gone soon. Isn't that amazing?

Spring has sprung I had to do 2 photos today because this was just so pretty all in bloom and such.

Daily Photo 2

2008-04-10T17:54:00.003-06:00

So I didn't take a picture at all on Tuesday but here is one from yesterday. I was hardly on yesterday so I didn't post. What you are looking at is a gaggle of turkey outside my office. We are at the end of a street and at the end of that street is a forest where we have wild turkey and deer. I saw a doe last year but haven't seen a buck yet though some of my co-workers said they have seen them.

Daily Photo 1

2008-04-07T18:53:00.003-06:00

Ok I lied here is my first picture. That's my baby girl Lacey laying on my bed with my freshly washed sheets behind her but not yet put properly on the bed because I like to procrastinate and likely won't do them until bedtime. She's gotten so big :( I can hardly remember when she was a little puppy outside of some pictures I have of her.
Lacey as a month old puppy

Walking

2008-04-07T18:37:00.002-06:00

Today started off not all that great but you know what it's ending pretty alright. Maybe not the best day in the world but today I have hope. Hope that things will work out, and in the way I want them to no less. I figure that no matter what happens it's what's supposed to happen. Good or bad in your eyes that's the way it was meant to be. Well today I have hope that it will end good instead of bad. That I'll be happy with the outcome and not have to wait to realize that the "bad" in the long run was the right thing to happen. I got moonie eyed today. Many of you may not know what that means but it's ok, just trust me that it's a good thing, it's a start.

I went walking today. Did aprox 3/4 of a mile in 25 min. Not great I know but hey it's a start right? Lacey is getting better on the leash as well. She still pulls a bit here and there but the majority of the time walking she does pretty good. I only had to do a pull start on her about 3 times this time around.

Also something to expect. Starting tomorrow I plan to post at least one picture a day of something in my life. The weather, family, a book, just something. My life via photos. I'll take a few of what ever strikes my fancy and post it up for ya'll to love and enjoy. (ok so maybe that's wishful thinking but I'll post them anyway.)

BTW - I love Gehnen.

In loving memory

2008-04-04T12:34:00.002-06:00

We miss you Krista. You were taken far too soon from this world.
04/04/05

Blog Tour part 3 Phobias/worst hotel stay

2008-04-03T20:22:00.004-06:00

I'm gonna write about 2 things this time around. And Alyssa forgive me but one of them will be the cabin from your wedding.

First my phobia, honestly there isn't really anything I'm uber afraid of. I could talk about Gehnen's fear of roller coasters (which he tried to defeat but didn't) but that isn't my phobia, hell it's not even Amanda's (some of you should get that reference. :D ). So anyway the thing I do have a fear of, dying painfully. I'm a wuss I know this. I don't like pain I don't want to deal with much pain (and yet I'm determined to give birth with no epidural when I have kids). The idea that I'll die painfully is just really really scary for me. I don't want to be killed or suffer from a long illness. Gives me the shivers.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

As to my worst hotel stay. It actually wasn't that bad over all but since most of the places I've stayed were pretty good this was the only one to really write about. When my SIL got married she had us girls stay in a cabin in the park where she was getting married so that we could get to the place easily and stay together and spend some time bonding (or something I don't know how much more we could have bonded after all the 3 of us have known each other for oh over 10 years already at that point.)

So we get to the cabin after a long day and what do we discover on the floor but a nearly dead scorpion yes that's right nearly dead. It was still moving slightly. We put it out of the rest of its misery by thwacking it with a broom. Then we were all afraid to touch it. Was quite the ordeal. I was freaked out because I was afraid that another much more alive one would come into the room and since I've never been stung by one I have no idea how I would react and I figured finding out the day before my best friend and brother in law got married would be a poor choice.

So I pretty much bounced from surface to surface keeping my feet off the floor as much as possible. And you know I think I did a good job of hiding it from the Bride to be so she wouldn't know how squicked out I was by the dead scorpion on the floor (did I Alyssa?) Then the next day I was back in the hotel room that my hubby and I had and didn't have to deal with possible scorpions on our floor. whee!!

Crotch Inspections?!?!

2008-04-03T08:50:00.005-06:00

The article that sparked this rant

What the every livin fuck is wrong with these people?!?! Who in their right mind would STRIP search a THIRTEEN year old girl?! I don't care male or female what happen here is just flat out ridiculous. A school vice-principal decided that because a student (who had herself been caught with the horrible drugs! you know ibuprofen *gasps*) pointed her finger at another girl as the source of said "drugs" that girl should be strip searched to find more drugs.

This girl was an honor student with no record and yet, after she willing subjected her backpack to be searched (where nothing was found,) was forced to pull her undergarments away from her body to see if any drugs would fall out. She wasn't even allowed to call her mother. Who the hell things these actions were the best course they could take?! They aren't even denying it. They aren't accusing the girl of embellishing they simply just think they are in the right to ask some young girl in the presence of 2 women to strip to her undies and then pull them away from her body.

And get this, and I'm sorry but I am disgusted by this, 2 judges on the U.S. Courst of Appeals found no fault with this.

This whole thing disgusts me. The people who started this and then found no fault with it are morons. I would do anything I could to get the principals of this school out of their positions. They just have no right to be enforcing or requesting these measures.

Going forward

2008-04-02T12:37:00.005-06:00

Things I'm looking forward to doing this year.

--I want to buy a bike and go biking around during the spring/summer/fall (ie when it's not so cold I freeze my ass off)
--I plan to go to Texas for the 4th of July. I haven't seen my friends/family down there since Benny and Alyssa got married in Sept '06.
--I plan to go to Vegas with my some of my best friends for one of said friends 30th b-day. I'm looking forward to that a lot.
--I plan to lose 50ish pounds before the year ends
--I want to go camping in a place that has nice hiking trails.
--I want to go tubing or something similar this summer (Benny and Alyssa did it and made it sound like tons of fun)
--I plan to go to the Art Walk down town at least once.
--I'm looking forward to seeing my Sisters-in-law and Father-in-law when they come visit from Cali this summer sometime.
--I'm looking forward to my mom visiting this spring.
--I'm hoping that one of my best friends can visit sometime this spring but realize she might not be able to since we are going to Vegas.
--I'm looking forward to being happier with my life in general.
--I'd like to watch some of the movies on the top 100 list that I have (you can see a copy that was posted sometime in '06 I think)
--I want to go to the park more often this spring/summer than we did last year because we all enjoyed it but then didn't go as much.
--I plan to go walking with my dog more often as the weather improves.

Right now I'm looking outside my window at work enjoying the sun and wanting to be outside. That is what lead to this post for the most part because I want to do a lot of things outside. Hopefully that will happen. We shall see. And perhaps I'll even post some pictures.

Lots of funnies lately.

2008-04-01T09:44:00.002-06:00

I promise to write real posts too but I've been getting a lot of funnies from friends and family that I just feel the desire to share so here is another one. I swear that my next post will be real. I make no claims as to what will happen after that one though. And so without further adieu...a funny

---------------------------------------

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors'
choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core
or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the
beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to
realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell
you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16
in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will
adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an
inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize
it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a
George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy
was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to
the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were
these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI,
unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything
'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin
and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down
to the local CVS armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end
your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to
take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss
your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of
condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Click to read a really good comic

2008-04-01T07:32:00.005-06:00

Go here and read

haha funny from G33Klite.com

2008-03-31T11:36:00.000-06:00

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

What I like about myself (part 2 of blog tour)

2008-03-28T09:34:00.007-06:00

What do I like about myself? This is the latest subject willingly thrust upon me. Many in the tour have already posted their thoughts on themselves and for me this has been a bad and maybe good week for me to have this subject.

So, what DO I like about myself?

I like that I'm loyal, sometimes to a fault. I'll look past what others see and say deciding to make my own decision. I've done this for years. Someone may not care for someone else but that doesn't mean I can't. I was once told because a friend of mine had broken up with a guy that I should no longer be friends with him. But I'm sorry just because you two weren't right for each other doesn't mean I can't or won't be friends with them.

I like that I have a rather positive self view. I know I'm not the prettiest woman in the world but I'm not bad looking by any means. I may be a fat woman but I'm still attractive. Not everyone appeals to everyone else but there are people out there that like how I look and I'm comfortable in my own skin.

On that note I also like that when I do lose weight I don't continue to think I'm as big as a barn when clearly I'm not. I know many people who can't see that they have lost weight and that it is an accomplishment. I'm happy that I can be comfortable as a size 20 or a size 14 and realize that there is a difference between the two.

I like that while I may not be the smartest person in the world I do have a great amount of common sense.

I also like that I do have a pretty good grasp on things in that I don't just jump into decisions most of the time. The big ones take time to process and I am well aware of that. I won't just dive head first without making sure the water is deep enough to keep from cracking my head.

I'm happy that for the most part I'm an optimistic person. I believe that in the end things usually work out for the best regardless of the trip to get there.

I'm comfortable in my emotions. I am not ashamed that I cry when I get frustrated. I'm not ashamed that I giggle like a maniac sometimes to keep from crying.

I like that I'm a trusting person. That even when I've been burned in the past I still have the ability to trust again. I may trust differently or be a bit more careful but I refuse to put a wall around myself just because someone was false to me in the past. I believe they are the minority and that if I walled myself off from the rest of the worlds inhabitants I could do myself a great disservice.

I do like myself even with all my fuck ups and failures I do have achievements and successes. I am a good person even if I've done bad things. I have good friends and people who care about me and I wouldn't have that if I was a bad person.

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
(bonus points if you get the above reference)

What's up?

2008-03-26T16:48:00.001-06:00

The following was sent to me in an e-mail with no reference but I thought it was a good read so I'm passing it along. - Grinningcomb

--------------------------------------------------------

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so....... Time to shut UP.!

The Whore

2008-03-24T07:11:00.003-06:00

Short post here a couple of people have asked who The Whore is and she is a former friend of double digit years who seemed to care more about her relationship with my husband than with me in the end. And that is a VERY long story short. It is possible (should anyone feel like looking) that a post in January could also be about the whore.

A work gripe

2008-03-21T19:48:00.003-06:00

Ok so I work with a lot of blue collar guys. They are welders or machine fabs, all down to earth, half of them have loans they owe to someone somewhere. And these people like to call because they are given the work phone number. Now we have a rule that no welders/machine ops get phone calls unless they are emergencies. And we do have some of those calls because lots of them have kids and sometimes things happen and that's fine.

But when the loan sharks call and I tell them that we don't allow phone calls or messages unless it's an emergency they get snarky. They ask for the manager, I tell them I'm the office manager. They ask for HR I tell them I'm HR. They say they want to speak to the manager of I tell them no because that manager will only repeat what I have already said and that is we don't take personal messages. One man demanded to speak to my supervisor I told him no. He said I HAD to. I replied "says who?" He told me that because we are incorporated I was required by law to let him speak to my sup or have the name of my sup. Neither of which I was going to do. My plant manager is laughing and telling me to hang up on the guy long before now. Finally I told him he wasn't going to talk to anyone but me and hung up on him. He hasn't called back.

Today I had someone call for David or Michelle. I asked for a last name in case it was someone who went by a nickname. She told me a name that didn't match any of my employees. I told her no one worked here by that name. She repeated slowly "D-A-V-I-D or M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E." I repeated just as slowly "No one-by-that-name-works-here." She asked what company it was, I repeated that (I answer the phone "good afternoon " she apparently doesn't know how to listen) and she said "oh goodbye" and hung up....Two minutes later she called again. When I answered the second time she told me she had the wrong number...well no shit sherlock.

You know what grinds my gears?

2008-03-21T13:28:00.004-06:00

I have a few co-workers that I consider friends. People I'm willing to do little things for if it is convenient for me. Like buy a bottle of tea if I'm getting myself a chocolate milk or something. I do these things unprovoked and unasked for because I like too. Not a huge thing but just something to bring a smile to the face of one of my friends. Now I do these things in a way that it isn't obvious that I'm doing special things for some of my co-workers but not all. I'll drop a drink in the fridge and then let the person know it's there so they can go get it and no one would be the wiser that it came from me instead of them bringing it in themselves.

Well today one of my friends decides to ask me to bring him in one and he'll pay for it which I don't mind at all. However he said this in front of a new co-worker, one that I'm not all that close to yet and don't really feel the desire to do special things for. New co-worker decided that sounded like a good idea and asked if he could have one too. Which resulted in me saying I don't do anything for anybody now. Now knowing myself the way I do, I'll still continue for those I like because I want to. But my friend...oh he's gonna get an ear full before he gets any treats from me again you can be damn sure of that.

And that really grinds my gears.

Postscript: I do get treats for all my guys occasionally to so it's not like they are totally left out they get candy at least once a month if not twice.

Strange Vacation (part 1 of the blog tour)

2008-03-20T11:49:00.009-06:00

I've been tasked (willingly) to write about the strangest place I've ever been on vacation. And I have to admit I haven't gone that many unusual places but I do have an unusual vacation (overall) to write about. Me, Gehnen, Benny, Alyssa, and the whore had all gone camping in Shasta Cali. We went in Sept (right?) and for those that don't know Shasta is in NorCal and cold in Sept. We leave after everyone gets off work for a 6ish hour drive so we arrive to the camp site around oh midnight and try and set up camp in the dark with just our headlights to give us the ability to see. So we pull everything out and quickly find out that the tent poles are no where to be found.

Yes ladies and gents you are right in your thoughts, we have a tent at midnight in the cold Cali mountains with no tent poles. So we are trying to come up with something that will get us covered for the night as we have 5 people and one car and no way can everyone sleep in there (nor do half of us want to.) So we pull the shoelaces out of my tennis shoes and throw them over a branch and pull the tent away from the completely level camp area to a not so level camp area and 3 of us (me, Gehnen, and the whore) climb into the tent, that we loveingly named Lumpy, while Benny and Alyssa go sleep in her car.

It was cold and uncomfortable and we kept rotating who was sleeping where because the person in the middle was the warmest. And yet overall the whole trip was still amazing.

We went up to Panther Meadows on Mt Shasta and it was/is simply amazing. It's so calm and peaceful. One of the best places to go in my opinion. Shasta is known for it's other worldly experiences. Many have claimed they've seen aliens and I don't doubt that's possible. The pic below is Mt Shasta from a distance.

There are also claims that when the clouds gather over the mountain they are sometimes hiding spaceships. That is shown in this picture.

So now you have it the strangest place I've ever visited. Provided of course you don't think San Fran is strange (which it is but not quite the same).

Check the Blog Tour list to the right if you'd like to read about some other interesting vacations.

Zits

2008-03-19T12:39:00.002-06:00

I HATE those zits that are under the surface that refuse to come up and let you get rid of them but they are so painful you don't even have to touch them for them to hurt.

Filthy Blog

2008-03-18T13:00:00.001-06:00

Apparently I'm a dirty writer.

This Page is Rated

NC-17

whatsmylife.blogspot.com/

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

9 Chickweed Lane (comic)

2008-02-25T09:23:00.002-06:00

PUBLIC EDUCATION:
definition
The Bureaucratic process of replacing an empty mind with a closed one.

Dear church going people of Marshfield MO,

2008-02-21T09:29:00.004-06:00

The news that started this rant

Why oh why do you have to make a fuss about stupid things? What is the point of petitioning a store to remove alcohol from it's shelves? Do you believe that by walking into the store you will be drawn to the isle with beer, somehow forced beyond your will to pick up a 6-pack, put it in your cart, purchase it, and then go home and consume it when you don't truly want to? No? That's not what you expect? Then why ask a store to take it off it's shelves when there are those that willingly choose to purchase and consume it?

God gave us all free will, the ability to chose for ourselves. What makes you so high and mighty that you need to take from us our GOD GIVEN RIGHT to make a choice? When did you surpass the knowledge of the Almighty? Please tell me when you were given power by the Alpha and Omega to take from His children the ability to make choices in our lives.

Now some may think that perhaps I am going a bit overboard. After all this is just one store in one town in one state....right now.

My fear is these are the same people who want to ban books from the library because they don't agree with the contents. After all if they can't stop themselves from buying the alcohol they don't want to drink how will they stop themselves from reading books they don't agree with? There are classics that have been banned from the libraries. Books like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, Blubber by Judy Blume, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell, and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. These have all been banned at some point or another. Simply because someone out there has a problem with some of the content and they want to take away the right others have to chose for themselves what they want to read and how they want to think.
“[I]t's not just the books under fire now that worry me. It is the books that will never be written. The books that will never be read. And all due to the fear of censorship. As always, young readers will be the real losers.” — Judy Blume

These are the people who think that gay marriage will somehow destroy families. I'm sorry but how is providing gays (you know those people who don't sleep with the opposite sex anyway) the right to have a civil union in any way going to destroy families? They aren't going to have kids anyway, or they will adopt or have surrogate parents. Which they are able to do now but they don't have the support of the law. If a couple has been together for 25 years and one of them ends up, God forbid, in a coma and they aren't married the parents of the partner in the coma can refuse to let the other half even SEE them in the hospital. The person they have been in love with and living with for 25 years is shoved out of the hospital unceremoniously with no legal recourse simply because the law (and church goers) think that somehow this couple is going to ruin families. The parents of the half that's in a coma can make the decision to pull the plug without ever giving their partner the chance to say goodbye. Would ANY married person allow someone to pull the plug on their spouse without the option to say goodbye?

My main issue is these are baby steps. Our President has taken steps to push abstinence only instead of teaching the kids in school about safe sex. Yes abstinence is good IMO for those who aren't mature enough to make a real decision but just teaching abstinence isn't going to do any long term good. Child and teen pregnancies are going up. Girls are 6 times more likely to give blow jobs now and 4 times more likely to do anal. Let me tell you, there aren't many guys out there that will complain with those options.

When is it going to stop. When only books must be approved by a government/church appointed committee. When they confirm our fragile minds are capable of reading them without forming our own thoughts? When they ban abortion again? They are already taking baby steps there because after all if they can ban partial birth abortion it's just baby steps backwards for all of it. When they decide that this separation of church and state is just silly, after all if England can have a Church why can't America. And what about this whole immigrant issue. I mean I'll be damned if the country founded on immigrants is gonna let anymore in. Why that's just silly. This is America only Americans should live here. You know those white people who look "normal". After all differences just aren't to be tolerated. That's not what our country was founded on. We need to be good strong church going people with no choice in the matter...right?

Pizza

2008-01-30T08:30:00.000-06:00

So last night I had a pizza, not so helpful in the whole losing weight thing. I did really well during the day. I snacked but all healthy, a banana, a granola bar. Then at home I got upset and to sooth my feelings I went and got pizza for dinner along with a soda. I knew while doing it that I shouldn't. That it would hinder me not help me but that didn't stop me. *sighs* I regret it today. I really lack will power. I need to work on that. But today is another day and a new beginning and hopefully I will do better. I have a healthy lunch I had a good breffust. Today I will do well.

On another note I saw La Vie en Rose this weekend. It is a French film about the life of Edith Piaf. An amazing French singer. She was accepted as the country's greatest pop singer. She lived such a hard life. And the actress who played her, Marion Cotillard, was abos-fucking-lutly amazing. She played the woman from about the age of 16 till she passed away in her late 40's. She's up for an Oscar because of it. The actual singer has such an amazing voice. And such a hard life. It's one of those stories where you can't help but wonder if life would have turned out the same, if she would have become the singer she was if she had had an easier childhood.

positive note

2008-01-28T21:58:00.001-06:00

I turned down Burger King tonight even though I want salty foods and have a hard time doing so I did it. I had a sammich and a banana instead. go me!

The woman who grew too fat

2008-01-28T17:39:00.000-06:00

Hi, that would be me. I have regained all the weight I lost in '06. Such a depressing thought and feeling. I really really don't like being this way. My husband would say so change it. But as anyone who has ever had weight to lose it's not that simple. Goddess knows I wish it was.
I read an article recently about a woman who was a writer for a magazine, no I have no idea which. Anyway she started a blog about her weight loss. She said that was the biggest motivation for her. That knowing people out there were reading up on her weight loss and commenting on how good or bad she was doing. Even her co-workers knew about it (because it was for the magazine). She said it was good and bad having co-workers come up and comment about her weight loss to her face.
So anyway long story short..ha! (my husband would tell you that just doesn't happen when I'm talking, I ramble) I am going to try her method, along with the D word and exercise (exorsize? ya know like exorcism. :D ).
I got home today changed, put my dog on her leash and went for a 30 min walk. Now I have been exorsizing recently (everyday last week to be specific), my household recently bought a machine but I needed to get out of the house today. It's starting to stay light longer so I can do it, at least on the warmer days.
I ate a bunch of really bad for you food today though, my excuse is that I'm ragging (sorry I know a bit to much tmi but hey it's my blog I'm allowed). But really I have lost what little will power I had. So I have to try and gain it back. And I guess I'll do it little by little. Perhaps I'll blog when I have the desire to eat something I shouldn't....so I should be on her about 10+ times a day. But hey at least it will force me to be honest and public about it.
Wish me luck I guess cause hopefully I'll become the woman who grew just right soon enough.

hurt feelings

2008-01-21T15:50:00.001-06:00

It's amazing to find that someone who you haven't seen in a year can still reduce you to tears. I found out yesterday from my husband that a former friend of mine was more comfortable sharing her life and problems with him than with me. This is a girl who I used to consider my best friend in the entire world there is nothing that I wouldn't have told her. And I once thought she felt the same about me. And then it comes out that no she didn't. She couldn't trust me with her family secrets but she could trust my husband whom she was close friends with for about oh...3ish years. Apparently that trumps the 18 years that we were supposedly best friends.
I don't even know why this still hurts me considering we haven't been friends for almost a year now. My husband is a good man and he's still kept his word to her and kept her secrets. And honestly it wasn't not knowing what they were but the fact that she just flat out didn't trust me. That's what hurt. This woman...someone who was supposed to be my friend, my sister. The girl who grew up with me. We were going to go to college together. I was her maid of honor. She was my unofficial matron of honor. I hosted her baby shower. How do you have a relationship like that and still not trust the person? I'm not saying I need to know all her family's closet skeletons. It just hurts to find that when she needed to talk to someone she went to my husband, not even another life long friend (I know she has/had 2 or 3 besides me). If it is so painful so secret how can you share it with someone you've only known 4 years but not the person that has grown up with you and shared so much with you?
What did I ever do to make her not trust me. What happened that a relationship like that can end so suddenly with no real rhyme or reason.
I don't think about her often but it's shocking, or maybe not considering how I felt about our past, about how painful it can still be to know what she thought about me and how she felt about me.

So this is what it's like...

2008-01-16T18:02:00.002-06:00

I will warn you, gentle reader, that this is going to be a very whiny post and I'm quite aware that once I get over my little pity party I will see just how silly I am being but until then I feel quite justified in my feelings so you get to read about my pity party. That being said if you don't want to read this now that you've gotten past the warning I really don't give a shit.

So this is what it's like to realize that the people you thought were friends to both you and your husband are largely just his friends....if that. People that came to birthday parties and get togethers to pay on the Wii are unable to make it to a party billed as slightly different. While we likely still would have played the Wii (and those that do make it will still play) the invites went out a bit differently. For one they were hand made by yours truly. I put thought and effort into them in hopes that people would like them. It wasn't a by word of mouth party it was a real invite with an RSVP. Which by the way only one person RSVPed (Thanks Greg). The rest just ignored the request of an answer. A big fat screw you! Why thank you. I'm always glad to see that no one gives a flying fuck about me. *big sarcastic grin* My husband had a birthday party a mere 7 months ago and the same people were invited save for I think one couple. I think everyone invited was in attendance.

Now I do realize that a birthday party is a story of a different color and that people may feel the need/desire to go to a birthday party rather than one for no real reason however the same people were also invited to MY birthday dinner and a handful of invitees attended. Not that those that came are unappreciated I love the people that came to my dinner I'm glad they came and I enjoyed their presence but it just sucks NOW that out of the 20+ people invited to my party I believe a grand total of 6 are coming and 2 of those also made other plans that night and thus will be here for an hour...maybe two. I know I'm not the end all be all of people or parties but damnit it would have been nice if you know a few more had come.

Ok I think I'm done spewing my bile onto the intarwebz.

driving

2008-01-06T20:20:00.001-06:00

I'm coming home from buying a book and I'm in the center lane to turn onto my street. There is a car in front of me and a car on my street assumably waiting to turn onto the main street I'm currently in the middle of. Now one would again assume that when you turn onto a street from the middle of the main road you aren't going to be stopping but will continue on at least until there is a place to turn correct? You normally wouldn't stop as soon as you turn onto the road right next to the car that is waiting to turn off of the same road so that you can hand something out your damn window to the person in the other car! Well that is what happened to me today. I had to swerve to avoid hitting the idiot that stopped in the middle of the road when she turned onto my street. I honked my horn at her before pulling into my driveway. Now as I'm getting out of my car she is using the driveway across the street from me to turn around. She only pulled onto my street to pass something out her window to the idiot in the other car. And she took the time to yell out her window at me that I needed to get off my phone and learn to drive...because apparently it is very normal for her to STOP WHERE THE STREETS CONNECT!!!! So I lowered myself to her standards and told her to go to hell before walking into my house.

But on a good note the book I bought was very good I enjoyed it lots even though my friend didn't. She was sad about one point that, for her, undid the good point that happened.

random chatter

2008-01-03T21:49:00.000-06:00

Not really sure what to say but I want to write something. They say you can become a better writer simply by writing every day. It doesn't have to be a novel but so long as you write you are improving your skills. I doubt they meant writing posts on message boards. Though I'm not sure a blog is much better after all isn't it just a message board that no one really responds to? :D No I suppose not I guess it's more like an online journal that all the world can read. Does anyone read this out of the few friends and family that I've given the link to? Heck I doubt they even read it anymore. As scarcely as I write anything. I had I think a grand total of seven posts on here last year. Simply amazing. I posted more on myspace I guess because I know more of my friends look there. Which is better? Neither probably. Some people hate myspace. I don't think it's something to be hated. Rather something to be careful with. Some people shouldn't use it. Some use it for bad others are just simply too clueless. I use it because I talk to my nieces more on there than in any other medium. Perhaps that should change too. Seems weird to call out of the blue after never calling them before. But I probably should. I love them. I miss them. My family and friends are the reason I wish I was back in TX but then I don't really want to be in TX I just want to be closer to my loved ones. Not that I don't have them out here in MO. I've met some great people, I've met some not so great. But that is life isn't it? We meet the good the bad and deal with it all. I think that's all for tonight. I'm getting tired and my eyes are tired and I want to take out my contacts and crawl into bed. My husband will be there soon and that is a good thing. ;)

2007 in summery

2008-01-01T19:39:00.000-06:00

So '07 has ended and what has happened in our part of the world this year? Well here it is in no particular order.
My brother and sister in law moved out and into their own house on the other side of town. We see them less but the visits are happier so there is much rejoicing.
My house mate got a new job that she loves and is no longer in retail.
I got a new job that I love and am no longer in retail.
My husband got a new job he can live with and is no longer in retail.
My brother in law got a new job and then got 2 or was it 3 promotions. And is no longer in retail. Goodbye retail hell may you rot for all eternity.
My sister in law got a promotion making it full across the board that all Missouri clan members either got new jobs or promotions last year. Hers was the last but I told her it had to happen as she would be the only one left out if it didn't.
We have acquired a new dog in the house. Found him wondering around outside the house the night before Thanksgiving. Looked for his family for about 2 weeks including calling the humane society to see if anyone had reported a lost dog. No one had so we have adopted him into the house. He's a white husky and his name is London. He's calmer than Lacey and even V.
My husband, brother and sister in law, and I made a trip out to Cali for husband and BIL's grandmothers 80th b-day celebration. Got to see the family out there and play with a baby cousin.
Husband and I celebrated our second anniversary. And this year marks 8 years that we've put up with each other. He has recently started saying that I tricked him into loving me and that I need to inform everyone of this fact. I don't know of an easier way than to put it on the net for all to see. Happy husband? :D
We decked the halls nicely for Christmas and have to leave them up till some certain members of the family make their way out here so we can celebrate one last time.
I think that covers the main points. I hope you all had a tremendous New Years Eve. I have a feeling this year is going to be a great one.
Love, luck, and happiness to everyone!

Reflection aka found an old journal

2007-12-31T20:27:00.000-06:00

So I was cleaning up my desk today I'll pause a moment to let you recover from the shock.....done? Ok.

So I was cleaning and I found my old journal. The one I started the day I moved into college. Damn was I stupid/young/silly/a twit. Makes me wonder though. I thought then that I was smarter than I was so does that mean in 8 years when I read these blogs or any journal entries I make now I'll realize exactly how unsmart I am now. My husband would probably say yes.

I know now that I'm not as smart as I thought I was then. Understand that? Good. I did grow a lot then and my journal shows it but it also shows me just how much growth I still had to go.

In some ways I've changed a bunch. I think I understand people a bit more. I know I understand myself much more. But at the same time I am still that 18/19 year old that is scared and confused and wishes she understood who she was better.

So with age do you ever start to understand yourself more or do you just realize that you'll never fully know even yourself and that's ok. To live your entire life learning who you are and what you want. Which is better to be sure of who you are, what you have, and where you are going for as long as possible. Or to discover yourself through your travels, experiences, life?

To everyone I hope you have a fantastic New Year. If you know who/what/and where or if you are still trying to figure it all out enjoy this next year. Live more, love more, laugh more, fuck more, cry more, enjoy more!

2007-05-15T08:01:00.000-06:00

Me March 25 2005 / Me Now

13 Random Things You Like:
1. books /Family
2. web surfing /Books
3. Sims 2/ CoH
4. shopping /Shoes
5. shoes /surfing the web
6. nice clothes/ going out with friends
7. my phones/ decorating my house
8. Pringles /working in the yard
9. my digital phone /playing with my dog
10. my wedding dress/ snow
11. good food/ the Wii
12. GameCube/ work (cause it's not hell)
13. Cake (the band) /Cake (the band)

12 movies

1. Lord of the Rings (all three) /300
2. Rocky Horror Picture Show /Lord of the Rings (all three)
3. Lion King /Moulin Rouge
4. Nightmare Before Christmas /Harry Potter (all of 'em)
5. Moulin Rouge/ Narnia
6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/The Transporter
7. Pirates of the Caribbean /Pirates of the Caribbean
8. Pretty Woman/ Superman
9. Clueless/ Hackers
10. The Transporter /Clueless
11. Hackers /Sweet Home Alabama
12. True Lies /Matrix

11 Bands/Artists

1. Cake/ Cake
2. Korn /Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers/ Enya
4. Bif Naked /Bif Naked
5. Enya /Dresdin Dolls
6. Daft Punk/ Christina Aguilera (her newest Album)
7. Tenacious D /Daft Punk
8. Black Eyed Peas /Evanescence
9. Garbage /Kelly Clarkson
10. Aphex Twin /Alanis Morissette
11. Cake (yes I know they made the list twice I really like them) <---ditto

10 things about me physically

1. 5 foot 4 inches/5'4"
2. glasses/ greenish hazel eyes
3. hazel green eyes /Big Smile
4. big smile /50 lbs lighter
5. naturally brown hair /long nails
6. currently red hair/ calloused heels
7. 2 tattoos /shoulder length hair
8. 2 piercings each ear /2 tattoos
9. stronger than they look arms /pouty bottom lip
10. pouty bottom lip /wearing green eyeshadow

9 good friends (in no particular order)

1. Spencer /Spencer
2. Norma/ Norma
3. Rachael /Angie
4. Angie /Theresa
5. Theresa /Rhonda
6. Kyle/ Greg
7. Joseph /Russ
8. David/ Kyle
9. Terri /my mom

8 Food/Drinks

1. Pho/ Indian
2. Sausage pizza /Sausage Pizza
3. Curry lamb/ vanilla shake
4. Strawberry Daiquirie/ Pho
5. Vanilla shake/ baked chicken
6. Parmesan chicken /Norma style steak
7. Garlic bread /Nachos
8. Chicken flautas /BBQ

7 People I've kissed

1. Spencer/ Spencer
2. Richard /Greg
3. Aaron/ Richard
4. Henry /Henry
5. Rickey /Norma
6. Jason/ Jason
7. that guy in college who's name I can't remember /Aaron

6 things that annoy me

1. lying /Lack of space
2. people who think they are always right/hypocrites
3. when people can't be original/ Gorge W. Bush
4. our president /inability to change and grow
5. ignorance /misunderstandings
6. *shrug*/ lying

5 things I touch every day

1. my keyboard/ Lacey
2. Spencer /my purse
3. my glasses/ my car
4. my cell phone /my rings
5. my hair /my phone

4 shows I like

1. Futureama/ Futureama
2. Family Guy/ America's Next Top Model
3. Gilmore Girls /Top Chef
4. What Not To Wear BBC /version Family Guy

3 things I wear every day

1. my engagement ring/ my rings
2. my glasses/ my contacts
3. my underwear/ shoes

2 Celebrities I have a crush on

1. Vin Diseal /Johnny Depp
2. Viggo Mortesen /Viggo Mortesen

1 person I love

1. Spencer/ Spencer

So what if it's been forever

2007-05-14T21:24:00.000-06:00

I doubt anyone reads this anymore so this is more of a therapeutic post than anything else. I'm trying to make myself a better person. I know for nearly two full years I was pretty much a shithead all around. I ignored my family reverted to worse than I was in college as far as attitude goes. And for that, I'm sorry. However I'm working on it I truly am. I want to be better. Now you don't have to believe it only time will tell how serious I am and how hard I'm willing to work but it's definitely been at the fore front of my head most of the time. (hey I don't think about anything all the time).

I'm working on how I say things...not only in words but in tone. I have a problem of saying something which I mean to be a joke but in a way that people aren't sure if I'm serious or not. And I also tend to sound defensive and angry which though I may be those things at the time, it doesn't help a discussion any to have every word coming out of my mouth expressing that. So I'm trying to work on it. Again it's in the fore front of my mind. Especially if I know I'm about to start a conversation that I know will have a confrontational nature.
One thing that sucks though is when my "tone" is thrown at me in a conversation in which I'm pretty sure I've been doing my best to control it. I won't say it's perfect, after all I just started really working on it but I know it's better than what it could have been. I'm not asking for praise just don't throw it out there cause you know it can bother me.

Another thing I'm working on is telling people what's bothering me when it bothers me instead of hours/days/weeks later. Sitting on it and resenting it will only make the problem worse. Trust me I've experienced it first hand. I'm not saying there won't be an argument or hurt feelings but it's better for it all to happen when the thing happens than later cause it only builds and makes it worse. And a 10 minute conversation can turn into a day long fight, hurt feelings, and a bad nights sleep.

Working in the lawn is therapeutic mainly because it's some of the only time I have to myself. It's a shame it's taken me so long to realize just how much of a haven my very own back yard can be when I'm having a bad day.

So did you go to your computer to read what I wrote tonight?

The last monthish

2007-02-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

So life has been pretty dull since we got power back. I'm not really complaining. At least we have power. A quick run down.
--Got in a fender bender (not my fault) get to have a rental car while mine is repaired for free, at least something cool came from being rear-ended.
--Had a video game party I lost to Barrett. And was told I can't cuss in my own house by a co-worker of S's. He's never coming back to our house again.
--Neri had a b-day. We ate at McD's. Came back and played with our new Wii. Go Nintendo!!
--Work still sucks on a near daily basis.
--I applied to 4 different positions at Cox Health hopefully one of them will produce something.
--Went to the Chili cook-off with Angie, got there so late that about 80% of the booths were out of chili already (thanks work).
--Decided to go downtown afterwards (since we were technically already there) and look around in some of the shops. Found a wonderful chair/table set where I could curl up with a good book. Only need space and $700 so I can get it. (yes it's actually worth the money)
--Went to the Mud House and had some wonderful hot tea. Decided to make a monthly date with Angie to go downtown. Tea is good and cheap can do it no matter what the financial situation is. (3 bucks got me two mugs of tea and a cookie).
--Went out to dinner with Barrett last nite to pay up on the bet that I would beat him at Soul Caliber III.
--Really wanted to go out last nite but everyone had plans or was to tired so ended up going to bed around 11:30.
--Going to see Urintown this afternoon with Kyle, it's the one Angie's been working on.
--Back to hell tomorrow for President's day week, oh the joy of it all *sigh*
--Desperately looking forward to the end of March when I'll take a vacation to visit with TC while she's here.

12 Days

2007-01-25T20:43:00.000-06:00

Twelve days without power. Yes my household was without power for 12 days. The result of the worst winter weather storm that anyone in Springfield can currently remember. The last big storm (like 10-15 years ago) had 55% of the city without power at the most. This storm..oh no not that small. Try 75% of the city without power at some point in time or another. Ours went out on the Friday the storm hit that would be the 12th of January. It's now the 25th and we got our power back yesterday.

We stayed warm because we bought blankets but largely due to the fact that my wonderful father-in-law sent us some money so that we could buy a small propane heater that stayed in the living room. We all huddled in there to give comfort, support, and a little extra body heat.

One thing about a storm like this and no power is that you find out more about who people are. Who bands together to help out and who secludes themselves. In a time when you need to band together most, it's sad to see seperation happening. To see people seperate themselves from the group and taking away the comfort, support, and yes that little extra body heat.

There were and still are many people in the city who feel that the city workers have been lax on the job and that they aren't working fast enough to get people back with power. I hated being without power. It was a sucky experience there's no denying it. But I saw city workers out there. I saw them up on lifts and working hard. When 75% of the town is without power there just isn't a way for you to expect to have the whole city up and working again in a matter of a couple of days. Could things have been done differently, yeah probably, but the people who were getting the brunt of the frustration, anger, and even threats, were the ones doing the most work. They were the city workers out there on the streets every day and the wonderful people on the phone at City Utilities answering EVERY call that came through complaining about the lack of electricity. Yes you are without power, we were without power, but the person answering the phone...those wearing the hard hats and putting the wires back together to bring our city back to life...THEY AREN'T AT FAULT!!!!

Yeah so this was somewhat of a vent post...don't like it? Get the hell off my blog.

To family and friends love and miss you, glad you weren't here :) Hope to see everyone soonish.

2006-12-24T12:36:00.000-06:00

Best Christmas Gift Ever

This made me tear up. This is one of the nicest sweetest things to hear about so close to the holidays. What a wonderful thing to do. Definatly something I want to do once I have the money that I can share the holidays like that.

Snow

2006-11-30T22:02:00.000-06:00

Snow fall I have discovered is a wonderful thing. I have always loved snow. I've always wanted to live somewhere that gets snow in the winter. Now I do.

If you want quiet go outside at night surrounded by fresh snow. I took the puppies out tonight to let them play. I didn't even realize what I wanted was quiet but I did. I found it so wonderfully quiet. The entire world is covered in natures own sound proof blanket. Cars aren't as loud. Even the dogs aren't as loud when they bark.

Going out there and being wrapped in that wonderful quiet was FABULOUS! In a house with 5 people quiet is a rare and beautiful thing to come by.

It's so hard to find the words I want to describe the feeling I had out there. My heart felt so much lighter. I felt elaited. I want to move my bedroom into my backyard.

Not only did the quiet sound beautiful, but every now and then the wind would blow and the trees covered in ice would sway and the creaking sounded like crystal.

The dogs were also lightening to my heart. They love the snow and to watch them run around exploring it was great. I would pick up some ice/snow and show it to Lacey who would run over and taste it then run off again. I'd pick up more and do the same thing over again. She made me laugh so much. Then right before we came in she had dug up a clump of snow/ice and I found it. It was in the rough shape of a kong so I picked it up and had her sit for it. I tossed it up for her to catch and she did quickly destroying the ball as she bit into it. She looked around all over the ground trying to find it. It was so funny.

The cold outside made my nose pink but it was worth it for the 20 minutes of blessed silence I received.

My kind of protest

2006-11-21T19:46:00.001-06:00

orgasm for peace

Summation of this artical is that a couple in California wants everyone to protest the war...not by going out and walking the streets or even having a sit in but by staying home on December 22 and having the entire world have an orgasam at the same time. The thought behind it all is that one is the most at peace just after an orgasam when the mind is clear.
Intresting views for sure but not really the best way to show your protest. Millions of people will be home and hundreds of thousands could have an orgasam but who's to know why they are or if they are?
I'm all for protesting the war we are not so willingly involved in but that is just not the best way to show it in my opinion.

Thoughts?

What would you do different?

2006-11-06T23:25:00.000-06:00

I was talking to a friend recently, ok so recently that we are still chatting on IM, about high school. We talked about the fact that I had a crush on him in Highschool and he honestly didn't know. He said he had even thought about it back then but never acted on it. So odd to think that two people liked each other but were both to scared of the other persons reaction to act on it.

Even knowing that now I don't think I'd change a thing about HS simply because all those things helped shape me into who I am today. And if I wasn't me I don't think I would have ended up with my husband whom I love and adore and at this point can't imagine life without him and really don't want to.

Would you change something different? Is there something so bad that changed you in such a way that if you had that golden change to go back and redo it you would? I just can't see that for me. I can't change who I was because doing that would change who I am and I'm happy. I'm truely happy with my life. Sure there are things I don't like, hell life will never be perfect but who the fuck cares. It's not about perfection just about enjoying who you are and where you are while you are there.

One thing I know for sure. I can't wait to go back to my HS reunion and just throw it in some bitches faces just how happy I am even though they tormented me in HS. Though I doubt they'll remember me. They never remember those they torment in the years past and yet those that are tormented never forget it.

Captain Jack Sparrow

2006-10-30T07:18:00.000-06:00

This is just one of the many reasons I'm the luckiest woman in the world.

Paris Syndrome

2006-10-24T22:54:00.000-06:00

"PARIS - Around a dozen Japanese tourists a year need psychological treatment after visiting Paris as the reality of unfriendly locals and scruffy streets clashes with their expectations, a newspaper reported on Sunday."
Full Story Here

Ok so how can anyone seriously be so deliusioned by what they've read and seen that they truely believe that a city and it's residents will be perfect? There is no where in the world that I would expect to not have some kind of down side. I'll admit I picture Paris being glamorious and I'm sure parts are, however I don't expect the entire city to be such. I'm not that dense.

Comments?

Lacey

2006-10-24T07:26:00.000-06:00

My own little Princess Lacey, her "brother" was Darth Vee

A new year

2006-10-19T21:04:00.000-06:00

So this is a bit early but close enough. Another year older. A week and two days away from my first wedding anniversary. It's been a very LONG year. Stressful, full of changes. Getting used to being a home owner and having to take care of all the problems that come along with it. Getting used to being a wife and all the problems that come along with that. Anyone who says the first year is the easiest is full of shit. It's not the honeymoon year. It's the hard one. But we made it and I think, I hope, we will have a stronger marriage for it. One thing for sure I know without a showdow of a doubt I love my husband with everything that I am.

This year also brought my brother-in-law and sister-in-law into my home. I love them both very much. And I am glad they are part of my family. It's been stressful for us and them to have them living here. But I hope that things will improve now that we've gotten our concerns more out in the open. It's hard having 5 grown people living in a house as small as ours. Everyone has a limited amount of personal space and those that are married have even less because Neri is the only one lucky enough to have her own room (bitch ;) ). But we will make do because we are family and we love each other even when we don't always like each other.

well it's getting late and I think I'm going to go for now.

AFI's 100 Years 100 Movies

2006-10-06T22:00:00.000-06:00

This is the list Neri, Gehnen and I went though a few nights. I've seen about 15 of these movies, Gehnen saw I think he said 50-something, and Neri saw 77 (bitch) so I'm gonna go down the list (maybe not in order) and try and watch most if not all.

The list

Citizen Kane (1941)
Casablanca (1942)
The Godfather (1972)
Gone with the Wind (1939)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
The Graduate (1967)
On the Waterfront (1954)
Schindler's List (1993)
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Sunset Boulevard (1950)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
Star Wars (1977)
All About Eve (1950)
The African Queen (1951)
Psycho (1960)
Chinatown (1974)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Raging Bull (1980)
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Annie Hall (1977)
The Godfather Part II (1974)
High Noon (1952)
To Kill A Mockingbird (1962)
It Happened One Night (1934)
Midnight Cowboy (1969)
The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
Double Indemnity (1944)
Doctor Zhivago (1965)
North by Northwest (1959)
West Side Story (1961)
Rear Window (1954)
King Kong (1933)
The Birth of a Nation (1915)
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
Taxi Driver (1976)
Jaws (1975)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
The Philadelphia Story (1940)
From Here to Eternity (1953)
Amadeus (1984)
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
The Sound of Music (1965)
M*A*S*H (1970)
The Third Man (1949)
Fantasia (1940)
Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Vertigo (1958)
Tootsie (1982)
Stagecoach (1939)
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Network (1976)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
An American in Paris (1951)
Shane (1953)
The French Connection (1971)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Ben-Hur (1959)
Wuthering Heights (1939)
The Gold Rush (1925)
Dances with Wolves (1990)
City Lights (1931)
American Graffiti (1973)
Rocky (1976)
The Deer Hunter (1978)
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Modern Times (1936)
Giant (1956)
Platoon (1986)
Fargo (1996)
Duck Soup (1933)
Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)
Frankenstein (1931)
Easy Rider (1969)
Patton (1970)
The Jazz Singer (1927)
My Fair Lady (1964)
A Place in the Sun (1951)
The Apartment (1960)
Goodfellas (1990)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
The Searchers (1956)
Bringing up Baby (1938)
Unforgiven (1992)
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967)
Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)

Neri making fun of me.

2006-10-05T21:35:00.000-06:00

Wedding Toes

2006-10-05T21:33:00.000-06:00

For my soon to be sister-in-law

2006-05-13T08:19:00.000-06:00

Stop bitching! I posted! *wink*

So life...well my brother-in-law and his fiance are moving into my house at the end of this month. I'm excited as well as nervous. We will have five people living in our relatively small house when you think about that many grown adults living here. Last time I lived with this many people the house was much bigger. We have also inheraited (sp? so sue me) an additional dog and 3 cats. And then my current roommate got a puppy herself. So house hold total? 5 adults, 3 dogs (2 currently puppies) and 5 cats. No one else can move in here till someone else moves out. Sorry but we just are running out of rooms. Unless you can convince my roommate to let you share her room. (good luck)

I am still doing the whole Mary Kay thing which is taking longer to take off than I had hoped but I'm kicking my butt into gear and "getting out of my own way" as my directer tells me. I have new names and numbers and am gonna get out there and get more and get this going. My mom signed up as my first concultant and I have another woman who plans to sign up as soon as she can get the cash from her ex-hubby. My goals are the same even if they've been moved back a bit. I plan to get to directorship by the end of the year, as in debeuting first thing in January. And I've started taking steps that way to do so.

I hate Staples still. I mean I like the people I work with. I can even handle my managers most of the time. But it's retail and people are stupid and I have to deal with them in abaundance there.
I had a man come in yesterday who spoke very limited broken english and handed me his cell phone so that his friend on the other end of the line who also spoke very limited broken english could tell me what he wanted. From what I gathered he wanted an arrow table that was 6 mm long. Yes 6 mm he actually said that. I'm not sure what an arrow table is and I seriously doubt you only want a table that's six mm long... But how do you tell someone sorry but I have no fucking clue what you want? I don't mind immigrants or people who know other languages but IF you are not going to learn English please do not move to a town that is close to haveing no diviersity at all and where very few will be able to understand you. We have China town in a few different big cities and some of those cities are even affordable to live in.
And I had a woman a couple of days ago that came in wanting some pens we had on sale. I was on the register covering a lunch I couldn't leave said register as no one else was there to cover it. She asks me where the pens are and I tell her isle six. She goes over there and comes back with the right brand and style but not the exact pen set that was on sale. (you had to get the multi colored pack) she asked if those were the right ones, I checked the ad, they weren't, I told her so. She stared at me for a bit. She asked if we had them in stock and I told her I didn't know but I could page someone to help if she wanted me to. She just kind of stared at me with her other items on the counter. So I asked point blank...Do you want me to page someone over here for you? She said I don't know....while still standing there so I started to check out her items. We got to the end she paid and stepped to the side...then stared at me for a bit and asked So are you going to call someone to help me? *boggle* WTF? God I hate stupid people....she never bought the pens, I hope we were out.

On a bit brighter note as far as Staples goes. Yesterday I met a woman who I ended up offering a Mary Kay facial to because she seemed like my type of woman and we had chatted a bit while trying to find what she was looking for. She seems alot like the oldest of my sister-in-laws. Not quite the same but gave off that vibe. I can't put my finger on it exactly she just did. So I plan to call her today or tomorrow and set up an appoitnment. She said she doesn't wear makeup but everyone needs skincare. Plus...she seems the type I wouldn't mind getting to know past Mary Kay. *nods sincerly*

Well my hubby is up and I should go say hello.
Peace out *flashes some kind of sign that really doesn't mean anything*

yeah I know

2006-01-30T22:21:00.000-06:00

Yeah I know it's been almost a month since I updated. I should try and stay on top of this but life has been relatively mundane lately. Till about two weeks ago. I have a friend from work, well kinda. I met her there but I don't actually work with her. Or I didn't...anyway she used to have my job at Staples. Then she left because she had her second kid and didn't want to work at Staples anymore. So she sells MaryKay now. We were talking she invited me to a facial and long story short. I now sell MaryKay. Or well I'm a consultant. I haven't actually sold anything yet, but I will! My goal is to become a director and allow S and I to both retire..or for me retire as much as I can while selling MaryKay. One of the directors I work with got her W-2's today and on commission alone last year she made over 89 thousand dollars. That's more than three times what S and I currently make annually combined. And she's only been doing this for six years. Not saying I will reach that level anytime soon but I should get pretty far pretty fast if I work hard enough at it which I fully intend to. Well that is my life update for now.

Sick

2005-12-11T16:57:00.000-06:00

Being sick sucks ass. That is all.

Happy birthday to me

2005-11-14T20:49:00.001-06:00

Meet Shoelace aka Lacy

Letter to myself

2005-11-12T13:14:00.000-06:00

Dear me,

So we are fifty now. What have you accomplished in life? I hope you did great things. Did you have great kids? Are they still around because you were able to instill a strong sense of family closeness without feeling like you were smothering them? I'm pretty sure you did.
Don't forget what you felt like the day you got married. The elation of walking down that isle and seeing the man you love so dearly standing at the other end of it. How proud you felt as you said your vows to become his wife.
Don't forget to trust people. I'm sure you have been hurt over the years, it happens. But trust is something that is important. You have to trust even when it means you may be hurt because if you never trust you will stop feeling the joy of meeting new people and making new friends that will change your life greatly.
Don't forget to act silly. Just because you are fifty doesn't mean you can't enjoy life and act a little silly ever now and then. It will keep you feeling young and let you live a longer fuller life. Don't tell your husband to cut it out when he rolls down his window and yells out at someone passing by on the street. Remember how you used to laugh at it when you were first together.
Please remember your age as well however. Don't try and dress like you are 20. It doesn't look good on you. Remember your promise to yourself and your friends that you would never let one another dress older or younger than you really are. You don't have to wear loud floral prints just becuase you are 50 but you also shouldn't wear a mini skirt that has your butt hanging out all over the place either I'm sure by now it's hanging a bit lower than it was when you hit 25.
Always remember your friends. Those that stand with you no matter what. Those that don't mind when you act a bit silly. Those that agree that an extragagent purchase every now and then is needed. Those that you can call up at 2 am even now when there is family home you might wake up because you really just need to talk about something important. The people that are still with you now are the best ones you can have. Those that make it are the ones that stuck through all the good and bad you've had and will continue to do so. They are your family.

Remember most of all to be true to yourself no matter what you have gone through during your years. In the end yourself is the one you need to please.

Love always,
Me

Another day another year

2005-11-12T13:07:00.000-06:00

So tomorrow I turn 25. What will next year bring. What should I do to celebrate this year? What will I think of myself now when I'm 50?
So I'm 25 and married, and living in yet another state. My own mom didn't get married until her late twenties and hasn't moved out of Texas her whole life. My dad on the other hand was already on his second marriage by 25 I believe and lived in many different states over his life time.
It's scary how much we end up like our parents when as we are growing up they are the ones we usualy want to be least like. Hopefully we only pick up their positive traits. Hopefully we learn from their mistakes and make new ones of our own. Then when we have our own kids they can learn from what we know.
Having my mom out here for my wedding showed me where a few of my traits come from. I laugh like my mom, I also cry like my mom. I think I have my dads sense of adventure. My giving nature I took from both of them. My goofiness...I think that is something all my own, that or I stole it from Angie.

-Me

Married life

2005-11-03T20:08:00.000-06:00

So I'm married now. Less than a week so far. The difference is...he's my husband, I'm his wife, I have two rings instead of one and my last name is ****** instead of ****. But for the most part our relationship is still the same. Our communication didn't become perfect overnight. We've already had a misunderstanding between the two of us. But those come and go and we always overcome them. I don't feel different in the relationship other than to feel slightly odd when saying my new name or when I call him my husband. It feels strange to be in this new "club" of married people. Not better than before just strange. I heard a woman today say she was waiting for her husband and I was like...hey I have one of those too (in my head of course *smile*). Just a new feeling I'll have to adjust too. But definatly something I don't mind getting used to at all. I love being married to the man I love so dearly.

Mrs. Grinningcomb signing out.

2.99 a gallon in MISSOURI boggle

2005-09-01T15:52:00.000-06:00

Yeah so I just filled my gas tank and it cost me 37 dollars that is more than I EVER spent living in CA. And what I HATE is that this is price increase on a possible expected gas shortage. At this point we aren't even short gas. And we went up 30 cents in one day and then 10 more cents the next day. *sigh* god this sucks.

next post to be posted later...I'M BUYING A HOUSE!!!!!

Retail retards

2005-08-17T10:42:00.000-06:00

If you go shopping please don't be stupid and don't be rude to the cashiers.
I had a shit load of crap ass customers yesterday.

I had a customer that wanted an extra discount because an item rang up differently from the price on the shelf. Because we were wasting her time. Well first off honey it's not law that we even give you the shelf price. What is in the computer is what is correct if you don't like it get the hell out. She said Wal-Mart would give her an extra discount. Oh sorry we aren't Wal-Mart and make so much money than an extra couple of dollars off won't make a difference. And second liar. Wal-Mart isn't gonna take the time to go check it unless you make a big stink.

I had another customer walk in and go to the customer service counter where no one is standing and no lights are lit up while there are three registers open and people in line at all of them. We are all trying to check out as fast as we can because about half the people in the store all decided to check out at the same time. I got done with one customer and turned and asked her if she had a return and if so she could stand in any three of the open lines. She said "well I wish someone had told me bfore I waited here for 10 minutes." *whap* You bitch you know it wouldn't have hurt you to turn around (Her back was to us all as she stared at the empty customer service counter) and quickly say "where do I go for a return" none of us would have minded.

I was ringing almost constantly for the first two hours I was on shift and the above two customers were just the ones that stand out the most in that time. I decided I needed a break. Well my manager says don't log out that way they can call you up if it gets really crowded. Alright but I'm gonna run over to Wendy's for some food. No worries she's alright with that. I go over and of course there are 5 people in front of me. The one time I really need to hurry. I call my roomie and vent so I'm using my time waiting well *smile*. I patiently wait in line as there isn't really anything I can do to hurry things along. Then when there is one guy in front of me a second register opens up. Well I point him over there because he hadn't noticed and then I step up. Then the little punk behind me steps over behind the guy that was in front of me now at the other register. *boggle* excuse me? It doesn't work that way. There is still just one line and I should be next. I get off my phone so I can say something but not fast enough and the little punk gets to go next. The guy behind me at least was nice enough to say (not in these words) that the kid was a punk ass. But the best part. The part to just top off my Wendy's expirence last nite...as I was walking out of Wendy's to go back to Staples (they are in the same parking lot) the little punk was walking into the Staples parking lot and sat in the bed of the truck while (I assume) his parents are shopping....he was the child of a fucking Staples custoemer!!! Of course that fits so well. grrrr...

That wasn't the end of my nite but this is a really long post already so I'll leave it at that. It does sum up most of my nite rather well.

Although I must say this...9:15 we are just about gone. One of my coworkers was outside putting the chair he had just assembled into a customers car and a woman walked up to the half open doors (because my co-worker was outside) we are all about to cry because we think she is going to come in. But then!!! SHE DOESN'T!!!!!! She read the time on the doors and saw that we were closed and left! *boggle* OMG we couldn't believe it. It was amazing.

Ok now I'm really gonna end this post now.

Tom & Katie

2005-08-17T10:39:00.000-06:00

I figured it out, with my sweetie's help, Katie Holmes is with Tom Cruise because she is gonna marry him, adopt a couple of kids, have a stifled movie career, then get divorced after 10 years so she can get a career like Nicole Kidmans. It's the only reasonable explination. What do ya'll think?

Breaking promises.

2005-07-29T09:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I had a woman in the store...she gave me a headache. She came in and told me that she had purchased two boxes of Norton softwear but didn't get her rebate forms and wanted them. I told her that they automattically print up whenever you buy an item that has a rebate with it.

She pulled out the flyer she had with her and pointed to what she should have had the rebates for. I look it over and it looks like it is a box rebate. I tell her such and she goes off on how that's only if it's an upgrade blah blah blah.

So I ask one of my co-workers to help me out as he is one of the electronic guys. He looks it over and then pulls up the sku from the item she had purchased on Sunday. Well it turns out the version she bought was not the one with the rebate. He told her to go ahead and bring in the softwear and we would exchange it out and get her her rebate receipts. She said the softwear had already been installed. He tells her it's ok it's the same softwear and we'll still exchange it out for the one that has the rebate. She is pissy but agrees.

THEN she hands me a jump drive so I ring it up and give her the total...."That is a return" she said her words dripping with distane (is that the right use of that word? I think it is.) Anyway I try not to roll my eyes at her as I ring it now as a return. I ask her for the card that she had it put on when it was purchased. OH...that was her husbands card, but she has one for the same account surely that will work...no it won't. But to try and appease her in some form I go ahead and ask my co-worker. No he says not on a different card. I tell her I can give her a cash card for it. She says just forget it and that she'll send her husband back to deal with all of this and they are "never shopping here again". Cue silent joy from me and my co-worker.

Do people really think that by saying that we will jump through hoops to keep their business. I mean she's not one of our regulars, yes I've been there a month and can already recognise about 5 people as regulars. She probably shops there maybe once a year and I am glad to say she is not coming back....though she probably will I mean people are always breaking promises like that.

Sorry

2005-07-29T09:53:00.000-06:00

So I've been told that I need to update my blog more than once a month. I'm going to try and do that though I give you no promises. I'll do what I can.

Long time no type.

2005-06-15T08:53:00.000-06:00

First off...I HAVE A JOB!! I started yesterday. It's retail but I don't mind that. It's money! I feel like this huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
My mom is coming up to visit me this week. First time we've had a visitor since we moved. She's bringing one of my best friends with her. It will be nice to see them both. Of course I have to work 27 hours next week but they will survive with out me to keep them company. My job means we'll be able to pay bills. I'm so happy.

blah

2005-05-11T08:30:00.000-06:00

So nothing as of yet on the job front. I called the place with the assistant manager position and it won't be open until about the 1st week of June and they are going to be interviewing starting in about two weeks. So I'm gonna need a job before that for sure. Not saying I won't take that job if offered when it opens up but I need money before that.
I went out with one of my friends yesterday and we, well I, grabbed a bunch of apps. And I had an interview at Olive Garden for a hostess or server position and I have a second interview today so apparently I wasn't so bad that they just told me to go away as soon as they got done talking to me. *shrug*
My computer seems to be slowly dying and I'm not quite sure why. It turned itself off yesterday and wouldn't turn back on. One thought is that it's over heating but I have a box fan sitting at the side of the case and the side of the case off so it's blowing cool air right onto it. *shrug* I don't know what to do because at this point I can't afford to fix anything should it decide to break.

*sigh* I really need a job. Our finances aren't so awful that we're forever in the hole. I really think that just one month of us both working will be enough to get us out of the hole we are in. Hopefully a job happens soon and then we'll be doing much better.

Well that's all my ramblings for now. Seems I have a usual theme here. *sigh* I hope the theme changes soon. Bye

job search

2005-05-03T14:51:00.000-06:00

So I applied for about 5 different jobs today at the mall. And one of them is my dream job (at least dream out of all that I've applied for since I've been in Missouri) it's the assistant manager at the Bombay Company. I would LOVE that job. It's the only one I've been excited about since I've been here. Even more so than the office jobs. The pay not be the best in the world. But it would give me the chance to get retail management experience that I need if I ever want to be a store manager.
I'm gonna be in the mall on Friday by "chance" and go in and see if they have any response for me. I don't know if the lady I turned it into is a manager but she was also the one I got the app from on Saturday and she remembered me when I turned it in today. That's a good sign I think. But anyway if anyone who reads this wants to send me good luck I would greatly appricate it. I hope they don't get a ton of apps and that mine is the best. I really really want an interview at the very least. I've been a retail supervisor so hopefully I can use this as a step to get to management. Well that's all I have for now I hope you are all doing ok.

Another Interview

2005-04-22T09:24:00.000-06:00

I had yet another interview today. This one was the first of two if I make the cut. I'll find out next week if they want me back and I'll find out by the end of the month if I have the job. I'm not holding my breath and I am still looking for jobs.

Money sucks. Well rather worrying about money sucks. I know I will get a job I know I will. And I know we'll be ok but right now I'm worried. It's getting to the point that any job will do. Even the dreaded Wal-Mart, though that is still the last resort. Things will get better.

Ok I'm rambling with out making any sense and though my friends know this just happens with me most of the internet doesn't know me and since anyone might happen upon this blog....well I'm gonna end it here for now.

No job

2005-04-20T10:42:00.000-06:00

Welp I didn't get it. They decided to "go in a different direction" what ever the hell that means. I could have done the job and done it well damn it. Why make it sound like you are intrested if you aren't? Or better yet don't give any inkling at all during the interview. That'd be better than saying you really like what I'm saying then go "in a different direction" bah. Sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna get a job. I'm gonna end up working at Wal-mart.

The waiting game

2005-04-19T09:36:00.000-06:00

So I had an interview last Thursday. And now today I play the waiting game. They said they would have their decision by today. I really want this job. It's an office manager job by title (which will look great on a resume) but in reality it's more of a administrative job. Which I am actually hopeing will work in my favor. There were a couple of other ladies interviewed and I'm hoping that if they find out the job isn't so much manager as admin they may decline the job if offered to them first. I'll be second best. At this point it doesn't matter I just need the pay check coming in. So on pins and needles I sit today. I'll let you know what I know once I know something.

So yeah...

2005-04-10T09:09:00.000-06:00

So yeah...
I haven't been around in a while. Most people who read this probably already know why.
My fiance's mom passed away last week....Or was it this week? My days have all been running together. Yeah I think it was this week. It just seems like ages ago that we were back in CA.
It was a sad occasion of course. We will all miss The Mama. But at the same time we are all relieved that she is now in a better place and done with the pain and suffering that she had to endure while in this realm.
It was hard for me because first off I did/do love The Mama very much she was there for me when my mom wasn't able to be due to the miles between us. But also because my dad passed away just a couple of months ago and it was a very sudden thing for everyone in my family. My dad got sick about 10 days before he passed away and about 4 days before he passed away they found that it was cancer and sent him home to die. So watching what The Mama had to go through I kept seeing my dad and wondering if the same thing happened to him.
I cried for both as The Mama passed away. And I cried for my fiance and his siblings.
The past year has been full of things to overcome. And the year ahead of us only seems to have more chalanges. Now don't get me wrong. Some of them are very good. Buying a house and getting married are both things I'm looking forward to but I'm smart enough to know that neither task will be easy. It's been a full couple of years and I can't say that hasn't been a fun ride. I know that may sound strange considering so many deaths and no those weren't fun. It's hard to lose a parent, even one you aren't that close to. But the trip of moving was fun. The closness I've found between me and my friends was fun. So while there are the downs there are also the ups and those are a great time.
So yeah...

New Job?

2005-03-29T18:56:00.000-06:00

...Perhaps. I will hopefully find out tomorrow. I signed up with a Temp/placement company today. They may have a job for me hopefully I'll find out tomorrow. So cross your fingers it works out.
I still hate my job now. I really want to get out of there. It just drains a person.

Terri Schiavo...wow

2005-03-25T21:06:00.000-06:00

This is being blogged simply so I can say...
oh...my...god
to this quote

"Many of those supporters are making parallels between Ms. Schiavo and Jesus, describing "the passion of Terri" as Easter approaches."

That is at the end of the article on page 2. My goodness now people (and I'm assuming it's random supporters of Terri not anyone in politics or the media) are comparing this woman who has been braindead for the past 8 years to Jesus the Son of God. Wow that's impressive to say the least. So if the tube stays out and she dies should we expect her to rise three days later? I'm sorry but that, in my opinion, is a bit extreme.

The New York Times > Washington > Supreme Court Refuses to Hear the Schiavo Case

My Job...

2005-03-24T21:24:00.000-06:00

...SUCKS

Terri Schiavo

2005-03-23T17:23:00.000-06:00

This has been in the news quite a bit recently and while I don't have all the details from what I understand Terri told her husband before that if anything were to ever happen she whouldn't want to remain a vegetative state. But the parents continue to push the courts to keep her alive with a feeding tube. She's been in this state for almost 15 years now. I know there are times when people can make it back from that lenght of time but usually everything works fine they just aren't consious. Terri on the other hand can't do anything for herself. I just feel it's sad to keep her like that.
I guess my main thing is we don't know what happens to a soul when the body is like that. Perhaps she is traped in her body unable to leave because the body is still alive even if it's not going to get better. On the other hand if the soul has already left because of the brain damage they are just using state money to keep alive a body that nothing will happen to. And on the 3rd hand (if there is such a thing) If she does get better so much time has passed and so much more time may pass the world she will wake up to will be completly different. And who's to say if she does wake up she'll wake up compeletly. Anyway just posting this to get my thoughts out there. Enjoy or not just still my thoughts.

Yahoo! News - Gov. Bush Seeks to Take Custody of Schiavo

Books to read

2005-03-21T21:02:00.000-06:00

Well I need a list of books I want to read and why not post it here so other people can also see what I want to read and also give their own suggestions.

There are two I received for Christmas that I need to read after I finish Gai-Jin by James Clavell they are Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire and The Painting by Nina Schulyer.

Also on my list
The Africa House by Chrisstina Lamb
Ill Equiped for a Life of Sex byt Jennifer Lehr

just got out of the mood to write so I'll edit this later.

Female Gamer

2005-03-21T19:37:00.000-06:00

So I'm a female gamer. It's true. My fiance considers himself very lucky. I'm not old school sorry. I did play NES as a kid but didn't really get into gaming until my jr year of high school. I play computer and console games. I do play Game Cube, PS1 & 2, and Dreamcast. I don't play XBox. I like adventure games, I like racing games, I like fighting games, I like MMORPG.
People don't seem to be as shocked when the find out a girl is gamer as they used to but I still help my fiance get some envious looks. I also shock people with they find out I have a sword collection and that I like daggers. Maybe I'm weird.

Stolen from another Blog

2005-03-21T18:42:00.000-06:00

This is a little quiz I found on someone elses Blog and I'm stealing for myself. So here goes.

13 Random Things You Like:

1. bookes
2. web surfing
3. Sims 2
4. shopping
5. shoes
6. nice clothes
7. my phones
8. Pringles
9. my digital phone
10. my wedding dress
11. good food
12. GameCube
13. Cake (the band)

12 movies

1. Lord of the Rings (all three)
2. Rocky Horror Picture Show
3. Lion King
4. Nightmare Before Christmas
5. Moulin Rouge
6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
7. Pirates of the Caribbean
8. Pretty Woman
9. Clueless
10. The Transporter
11. Hackers
12. True Lies

11 Bands/Artists

1. Cake
2. Korn
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers
4. Bif Naked
5. Enya
6. Daft Punk
7. Tenacious D
8. Black Eyed Peas
9. Garbage
10. Aphex Twin
11. Cake (yes I know they made the list twice I really like them)

10 things about me physically

1. 5 foot 4 inches
2. glasses
3. hazel/green eyes (depends on what I wear)
4. big smile
5. naturally brown hair
6. currently red hair
7. 2 tatoos
8. 2 piercings each ear
9. stronger than they look arms
10. pouty bottom lip

9 good friends (in no paticular order)

1. Spencer
2. Norma
3. Rachael
4. Angie
5. Theresa
6. Kyle
7. Joseph
8. David
9. Terri

8 Food/Drinks

1. Pho
2. Sausage pizza
3. Curry lamb
4. Strawberry Daiquirie
5. Vanilla shake
6. Parmesan chicken
7. Garlic bread
8. Chicken flautas

7 People I've kissed

1. Spencer
2. Richard
3. Aaron
4. Henry
5. Rickey
6. Jason
7. that guy in college who's name I can't remember

6 things that annoy me

1. lying
2. people who think they are always right
3. when people can't be original
4. our president
5. ignorance
6. *shrug*

5 things I touch every day

1. my keyboard
2. Spencer
3. my glasses
4. my cell phone
5. my hair

4 shows I like

1. Futureama
2. Family Guy
3. Gilmore Girls
4. What Not To Wear BBC version

3 things I wear every day

1. my engagement ring
2. my glasses
3. my underwear (yes a clean pair thank you very much)

2 Celebrities I have a crush on

1. Vin Diseal
2. Viggo Mortesen

1 person I love

1. Spencer