Me March 25 2005 / Me Now


13 Random Things You Like:
1. books /Family
2. web surfing /Books
3. Sims 2/ CoH
4. shopping /Shoes
5. shoes /surfing the web
6. nice clothes/ going out with friends
7. my phones/ decorating my house
8. Pringles /working in the yard
9. my digital phone /playing with my dog
10. my wedding dress/ snow
11. good food/ the Wii
12. GameCube/ work (cause it's not hell)
13. Cake (the band) /Cake (the band)

12 movies

1. Lord of the Rings (all three) /300
2. Rocky Horror Picture Show /Lord of the Rings (all three)
3. Lion King /Moulin Rouge
4. Nightmare Before Christmas /Harry Potter (all of 'em)
5. Moulin Rouge/ Narnia
6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/The Transporter
7. Pirates of the Caribbean /Pirates of the Caribbean
8. Pretty Woman/ Superman
9. Clueless/ Hackers
10. The Transporter /Clueless
11. Hackers /Sweet Home Alabama
12. True Lies /Matrix

11 Bands/Artists

1. Cake/ Cake
2. Korn /Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers/ Enya
4. Bif Naked /Bif Naked
5. Enya /Dresdin Dolls
6. Daft Punk/ Christina Aguilera (her newest Album)
7. Tenacious D /Daft Punk
8. Black Eyed Peas /Evanescence
9. Garbage /Kelly Clarkson
10. Aphex Twin /Alanis Morissette
11. Cake (yes I know they made the list twice I really like them) <---ditto

10 things about me physically

1. 5 foot 4 inches/5'4"
2. glasses/ greenish hazel eyes
3. hazel green eyes /Big Smile
4. big smile /50 lbs lighter
5. naturally brown hair /long nails
6. currently red hair/ calloused heels
7. 2 tattoos /shoulder length hair
8. 2 piercings each ear /2 tattoos
9. stronger than they look arms /pouty bottom lip
10. pouty bottom lip /wearing green eyeshadow

9 good friends (in no particular order)

1. Spencer /Spencer
2. Norma/ Norma
3. Rachael /Angie
4. Angie /Theresa
5. Theresa /Rhonda
6. Kyle/ Greg
7. Joseph /Russ
8. David/ Kyle
9. Terri /my mom

8 Food/Drinks

1. Pho/ Indian
2. Sausage pizza /Sausage Pizza
3. Curry lamb/ vanilla shake
4. Strawberry Daiquirie/ Pho
5. Vanilla shake/ baked chicken
6. Parmesan chicken /Norma style steak
7. Garlic bread /Nachos
8. Chicken flautas /BBQ

7 People I've kissed

1. Spencer/ Spencer
2. Richard /Greg
3. Aaron/ Richard
4. Henry /Henry
5. Rickey /Norma
6. Jason/ Jason
7. that guy in college who's name I can't remember /Aaron

6 things that annoy me

1. lying /Lack of space
2. people who think they are always right/hypocrites
3. when people can't be original/ Gorge W. Bush
4. our president /inability to change and grow
5. ignorance /misunderstandings
6. *shrug*/ lying

5 things I touch every day

1. my keyboard/ Lacey
2. Spencer /my purse
3. my glasses/ my car
4. my cell phone /my rings
5. my hair /my phone

4 shows I like

1. Futureama/ Futureama
2. Family Guy/ America's Next Top Model
3. Gilmore Girls /Top Chef
4. What Not To Wear BBC /version Family Guy

3 things I wear every day

1. my engagement ring/ my rings
2. my glasses/ my contacts
3. my underwear/ shoes

2 Celebrities I have a crush on

1. Vin Diseal /Johnny Depp
2. Viggo Mortesen /Viggo Mortesen

1 person I love

1. Spencer/ Spencer

So what if it's been forever

I doubt anyone reads this anymore so this is more of a therapeutic post than anything else. I'm trying to make myself a better person. I know for nearly two full years I was pretty much a shithead all around. I ignored my family reverted to worse than I was in college as far as attitude goes. And for that, I'm sorry. However I'm working on it I truly am. I want to be better. Now you don't have to believe it only time will tell how serious I am and how hard I'm willing to work but it's definitely been at the fore front of my head most of the time. (hey I don't think about anything all the time).

I'm working on how I say things...not only in words but in tone. I have a problem of saying something which I mean to be a joke but in a way that people aren't sure if I'm serious or not. And I also tend to sound defensive and angry which though I may be those things at the time, it doesn't help a discussion any to have every word coming out of my mouth expressing that. So I'm trying to work on it. Again it's in the fore front of my mind. Especially if I know I'm about to start a conversation that I know will have a confrontational nature.
One thing that sucks though is when my "tone" is thrown at me in a conversation in which I'm pretty sure I've been doing my best to control it. I won't say it's perfect, after all I just started really working on it but I know it's better than what it could have been. I'm not asking for praise just don't throw it out there cause you know it can bother me.

Another thing I'm working on is telling people what's bothering me when it bothers me instead of hours/days/weeks later. Sitting on it and resenting it will only make the problem worse. Trust me I've experienced it first hand. I'm not saying there won't be an argument or hurt feelings but it's better for it all to happen when the thing happens than later cause it only builds and makes it worse. And a 10 minute conversation can turn into a day long fight, hurt feelings, and a bad nights sleep.

Working in the lawn is therapeutic mainly because it's some of the only time I have to myself. It's a shame it's taken me so long to realize just how much of a haven my very own back yard can be when I'm having a bad day.





So did you go to your computer to read what I wrote tonight?