I really hate stupid people

So two days ago I talked to what has to be the dumbest person I'd ever talked to. I was at work. And on the whole at work I usually talk to pretty bright people or at least people who can communicate and live with the majority of society and not piss half of us off. This guy on the other hand....dear goddess help me please when dealing with people like this guy.

At the end of the 30 minute conversation I was praying that he was just fucking with me and not really that stupid. No really I was. I was half tempted to tell him to cut out the bullshit and stop acting like a moron because I really really hoped that he was just a VERY good actor and pulling my leg just to get his jollies.

The reason he called in? He needed to know how to send a text message, ok fine. I know not everyone deals well with technology (though my mom figured it out with out calling HER cell phone provider OR me). So that part of the call was ok. I easily walked him through the steps and he seemed to get it.

Then he mentioned how he liked that the "keys [were] hid" on his phone. Yes congrats you have a slider phone they are great I love mine too. Then he wanted to know about OTHER Samsung phones.... ok you JUST bought this one and you haven't even really used it yet (I know because he set it up and called into us) but you want to know about other phones...fine. I give him the run down on other samsung phones. He asks which one I like best, well I don't really like telling someone which phone they should pick because if they don't like it they call back in and bitch because the person who told them about the phone didn't tell them about X (insert grip here).

So I tell him maybe he should go to the store, there he can see what kind of phones they have available and see which one he likes the most. He finally sees that this is a great idea, bad news...no my company corp owned stores in his area. But wait there is a Target... I tell him let me give you the number so you can call and make sure they have the phones you want to look at (he had narrowed it down to a couple based on my descriptions)

This is the part where I decided I'd rather take a spoon and dig my eye out than stay at work and talk to him. I give him the number to Target 856-623-2068...So it's 856-23-0286....no, no it's not. I repeat it 8.5.6....6.2.3....2.0.6.8, Ok I got 856-23- is the zero before or after the two......it's after....ok so 0268?.....*me starting to look like an insane person because my eyes are growing wide* No it's 2....0....6....8. Ok so is the zero before or after the two?....ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!?!?! I'm not kidding I read the number off PAINFULLY slow. I gave him PLENTY of time between each number to write it down directly as I was speaking it.

Now before anyone posts nasty bitchy things to me. Yes I know that perhaps he was dyslexic I did think of that. However he claimed the acct was in his name and you have to be 18 to have an acct in your own name so there for by this time in his life you would HOPE he has at least had some kind of teaching that allows him some tricks as to how to live and cope with dyslexia if that is indeed his problem and not just years of inbreeding. I'm not kidding you I read that number well over 20 times to him. I said each number again with so much time in between so that he could just start fresh and write down the number as I said it and not have to worry about which was in front of what.

And after all that...after saying them so slow an arthritic grandmother who has alzheimers would memorize the number. He didn't get it right. I lied to him. I'm sorry it was awful of me but he just.didn't.get.it. He didn't there was nothing I was going to say that would help him figure out what the fuck the number was. He was simply an inbreed idiot from Alabama

A work gripe

Ok so I work with a lot of blue collar guys. They are welders or machine fabs, all down to earth, half of them have loans they owe to someone somewhere. And these people like to call because they are given the work phone number. Now we have a rule that no welders/machine ops get phone calls unless they are emergencies. And we do have some of those calls because lots of them have kids and sometimes things happen and that's fine.

But when the loan sharks call and I tell them that we don't allow phone calls or messages unless it's an emergency they get snarky. They ask for the manager, I tell them I'm the office manager. They ask for HR I tell them I'm HR. They say they want to speak to the manager of I tell them no because that manager will only repeat what I have already said and that is we don't take personal messages. One man demanded to speak to my supervisor I told him no. He said I HAD to. I replied "says who?" He told me that because we are incorporated I was required by law to let him speak to my sup or have the name of my sup. Neither of which I was going to do. My plant manager is laughing and telling me to hang up on the guy long before now. Finally I told him he wasn't going to talk to anyone but me and hung up on him. He hasn't called back.

Today I had someone call for David or Michelle. I asked for a last name in case it was someone who went by a nickname. She told me a name that didn't match any of my employees. I told her no one worked here by that name. She repeated slowly "D-A-V-I-D or M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E." I repeated just as slowly "No one-by-that-name-works-here." She asked what company it was, I repeated that (I answer the phone "good afternoon " she apparently doesn't know how to listen) and she said "oh goodbye" and hung up....Two minutes later she called again. When I answered the second time she told me she had the wrong number...well no shit sherlock.

You know what grinds my gears?

I have a few co-workers that I consider friends. People I'm willing to do little things for if it is convenient for me. Like buy a bottle of tea if I'm getting myself a chocolate milk or something. I do these things unprovoked and unasked for because I like too. Not a huge thing but just something to bring a smile to the face of one of my friends. Now I do these things in a way that it isn't obvious that I'm doing special things for some of my co-workers but not all. I'll drop a drink in the fridge and then let the person know it's there so they can go get it and no one would be the wiser that it came from me instead of them bringing it in themselves.

Well today one of my friends decides to ask me to bring him in one and he'll pay for it which I don't mind at all. However he said this in front of a new co-worker, one that I'm not all that close to yet and don't really feel the desire to do special things for. New co-worker decided that sounded like a good idea and asked if he could have one too. Which resulted in me saying I don't do anything for anybody now. Now knowing myself the way I do, I'll still continue for those I like because I want to. But my friend...oh he's gonna get an ear full before he gets any treats from me again you can be damn sure of that.

And that really grinds my gears.

Postscript: I do get treats for all my guys occasionally to so it's not like they are totally left out they get candy at least once a month if not twice.