Blog Tour IV

So when did I become a woman? Not by age but by mind and feeling. I'd say I was a late bloomer in that aspect. I felt like a kid just pretending for quite a while. You would think that moving to a state half way across the country at 20 would do it. Or moving into an apartment with Alyssa at 22 (23?) would do it. But honestly I just didn't feel grown up then. I didn't feel like a woman.

Then Gehnen and I decided to move half way across the country together. So not only was I moving but I was moving with my future husband. And then we bought a house and then we got married.

I think for me it would have to have been when we walked into our house after signing a million and a half pieces of paper that it really hit me...OMG I'm a grown up. I am a woman. Yes I'd done plenty of things that women do before then. I had been *whispers* intimate, with my hubby. I had moved across many states twice ending up in one where I only knew 4 adults and 2 kids and 2 of the adults had moved with me. I had paid my own bills I had purchased a car but none of that really made me feel like a woman. For me it was the house. That was what sealed the deal.

Now that's not to say I'm completely grown up. Not by a long shot and that's ok. I like being a kid in some aspects. I play video games and read young adult and even children's books that are well written. I have, as one of my best friends says, the drama of a high schooler going on right now which I'm not going to go into details on. So while I'm a woman I'm still very much a kid too. And I like that about myself so it's all good. :)

My Hell

Rednecks
Circle I Limbo

Republicans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

PETA Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Scientologists
Circle VII Burning Sands

George Bush
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Saddam Hussein
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

So there is this guy...

There is this guy that I like quite a bit. (who whenever mentioned from here on out will be Fredrick) He's sweet and caring. He makes me laugh. He listens when I need to vent and has even seen me cry though I've tried to hide it from him. I get excited simply by him touching my elbow to get my attention. I can get lost in his eyes at times. He's a good friend and I wish there could be more. The only problem is he has a psychotic bitch of a girl.

This girl is insanely jealous and would never consent to sharing him with me. Even though I have no desire to steal him from her. And while I realize that my lifestyle isn't for everyone this woman won't even let him have female friends. And before anyone thinks I'm a hussy I am not the type of woman to steal a guy from someone he's committed to. He really does deserve better than her.

It's hard to have feelings for someone you can't be with. And it's hard when you didn't even set out to have feelings for them. You were just friends and the more you talked the more you found you liked each other and the more it sucked that you couldn't be with the other. I know I need to stop having feelings for this guy but I don't want to stop being his friend and the more I get to know him the more I like him.

The worst part about all of this is again the girl. He would be completely fine being the "other" man. He knows I'm married and plan to stay that way. He knows he'd have to share me with my husband and he's cool with that. It's hard to find a guy willing to be that person in a relationship. And here I find one, and a nice sweet one at that, and he's taken...by a CRAZY woman. Goddess I just wish they'd split up already. Hell even if he and I were never anything more than friends he needs to leave her.



I realize this is mostly just rambling but it's easier and quicker for me to type than write so this is kinda like a journal entry for me that I tried to write so that it could make some kind of sense to anyone else reading it.

My personality...

Go here to see

How to treat a woman

Looking up

I've been in a good mood pretty much all week. There have been a couple of eh moments to be sure but nothing really and truly depressing. I'm so happy for that! I've felt relaxed and comfortable. It's a nice feeling and I didn't realize just how down I had been feeling and how much my stress was piling up on me. I knew I was having bad moments and depressed days but I didn't realize how much it was effecting me, even when I thought I was in a good mood those bad thoughts were still niggling in my brain. I hope that this continues. That what changed continues to change and continues to work.

I've really kept up with this whole blogging thing a lot more than I ever have before. With this post I will have surpassed the most amount of posts in one year. In '05 which was the year I blogged the most I had 29 posts all year. So far in '08 (all 3.5 months of it) I'll have 30 posts. Not bad considering. I was hoping to write daily and I haven't done that but I have been writing more. Now I just need to get off my ass and work on the creative blog post that I have due a week from Sat. That one I'm nervous about. I enjoy writing but I'm afraid that people won't think it's good enough. And yet at the same time I know I can't get better without just writing and getting peoples opinions.

Daily Photo 3

Now I realize what you think you see but I promise you it is not the case. What you think you see is a lake. What you actually are looking at is a sink hole filled with about a day and a half of rain. It will be gone soon. Isn't that amazing?

Spring has sprung I had to do 2 photos today because this was just so pretty all in bloom and such.

Daily Photo 2

So I didn't take a picture at all on Tuesday but here is one from yesterday. I was hardly on yesterday so I didn't post. What you are looking at is a gaggle of turkey outside my office. We are at the end of a street and at the end of that street is a forest where we have wild turkey and deer. I saw a doe last year but haven't seen a buck yet though some of my co-workers said they have seen them.

Daily Photo 1

Ok I lied here is my first picture. That's my baby girl Lacey laying on my bed with my freshly washed sheets behind her but not yet put properly on the bed because I like to procrastinate and likely won't do them until bedtime. She's gotten so big :( I can hardly remember when she was a little puppy outside of some pictures I have of her.
Lacey as a month old puppy

Walking

Today started off not all that great but you know what it's ending pretty alright. Maybe not the best day in the world but today I have hope. Hope that things will work out, and in the way I want them to no less. I figure that no matter what happens it's what's supposed to happen. Good or bad in your eyes that's the way it was meant to be. Well today I have hope that it will end good instead of bad. That I'll be happy with the outcome and not have to wait to realize that the "bad" in the long run was the right thing to happen. I got moonie eyed today. Many of you may not know what that means but it's ok, just trust me that it's a good thing, it's a start.

I went walking today. Did aprox 3/4 of a mile in 25 min. Not great I know but hey it's a start right? Lacey is getting better on the leash as well. She still pulls a bit here and there but the majority of the time walking she does pretty good. I only had to do a pull start on her about 3 times this time around.

Also something to expect. Starting tomorrow I plan to post at least one picture a day of something in my life. The weather, family, a book, just something. My life via photos. I'll take a few of what ever strikes my fancy and post it up for ya'll to love and enjoy. (ok so maybe that's wishful thinking but I'll post them anyway.)

BTW - I love Gehnen.

In loving memory

We miss you Krista. You were taken far too soon from this world.
04/04/05

Blog Tour part 3 Phobias/worst hotel stay

I'm gonna write about 2 things this time around. And Alyssa forgive me but one of them will be the cabin from your wedding.

First my phobia, honestly there isn't really anything I'm uber afraid of. I could talk about Gehnen's fear of roller coasters (which he tried to defeat but didn't) but that isn't my phobia, hell it's not even Amanda's (some of you should get that reference. :D ). So anyway the thing I do have a fear of, dying painfully. I'm a wuss I know this. I don't like pain I don't want to deal with much pain (and yet I'm determined to give birth with no epidural when I have kids). The idea that I'll die painfully is just really really scary for me. I don't want to be killed or suffer from a long illness. Gives me the shivers.

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As to my worst hotel stay. It actually wasn't that bad over all but since most of the places I've stayed were pretty good this was the only one to really write about. When my SIL got married she had us girls stay in a cabin in the park where she was getting married so that we could get to the place easily and stay together and spend some time bonding (or something I don't know how much more we could have bonded after all the 3 of us have known each other for oh over 10 years already at that point.)

So we get to the cabin after a long day and what do we discover on the floor but a nearly dead scorpion yes that's right nearly dead. It was still moving slightly. We put it out of the rest of its misery by thwacking it with a broom. Then we were all afraid to touch it. Was quite the ordeal. I was freaked out because I was afraid that another much more alive one would come into the room and since I've never been stung by one I have no idea how I would react and I figured finding out the day before my best friend and brother in law got married would be a poor choice.

So I pretty much bounced from surface to surface keeping my feet off the floor as much as possible. And you know I think I did a good job of hiding it from the Bride to be so she wouldn't know how squicked out I was by the dead scorpion on the floor (did I Alyssa?) Then the next day I was back in the hotel room that my hubby and I had and didn't have to deal with possible scorpions on our floor. whee!!

Crotch Inspections?!?!

The article that sparked this rant

What the every livin fuck is wrong with these people?!?! Who in their right mind would STRIP search a THIRTEEN year old girl?! I don't care male or female what happen here is just flat out ridiculous. A school vice-principal decided that because a student (who had herself been caught with the horrible drugs! you know ibuprofen *gasps*) pointed her finger at another girl as the source of said "drugs" that girl should be strip searched to find more drugs.

This girl was an honor student with no record and yet, after she willing subjected her backpack to be searched (where nothing was found,) was forced to pull her undergarments away from her body to see if any drugs would fall out. She wasn't even allowed to call her mother. Who the hell things these actions were the best course they could take?! They aren't even denying it. They aren't accusing the girl of embellishing they simply just think they are in the right to ask some young girl in the presence of 2 women to strip to her undies and then pull them away from her body.

And get this, and I'm sorry but I am disgusted by this, 2 judges on the U.S. Courst of Appeals found no fault with this.

This whole thing disgusts me. The people who started this and then found no fault with it are morons. I would do anything I could to get the principals of this school out of their positions. They just have no right to be enforcing or requesting these measures.

Going forward

Things I'm looking forward to doing this year.

--I want to buy a bike and go biking around during the spring/summer/fall (ie when it's not so cold I freeze my ass off)
--I plan to go to Texas for the 4th of July. I haven't seen my friends/family down there since Benny and Alyssa got married in Sept '06.
--I plan to go to Vegas with my some of my best friends for one of said friends 30th b-day. I'm looking forward to that a lot.
--I plan to lose 50ish pounds before the year ends
--I want to go camping in a place that has nice hiking trails.
--I want to go tubing or something similar this summer (Benny and Alyssa did it and made it sound like tons of fun)
--I plan to go to the Art Walk down town at least once.
--I'm looking forward to seeing my Sisters-in-law and Father-in-law when they come visit from Cali this summer sometime.
--I'm looking forward to my mom visiting this spring.
--I'm hoping that one of my best friends can visit sometime this spring but realize she might not be able to since we are going to Vegas.
--I'm looking forward to being happier with my life in general.
--I'd like to watch some of the movies on the top 100 list that I have (you can see a copy that was posted sometime in '06 I think)
--I want to go to the park more often this spring/summer than we did last year because we all enjoyed it but then didn't go as much.
--I plan to go walking with my dog more often as the weather improves.

Right now I'm looking outside my window at work enjoying the sun and wanting to be outside. That is what lead to this post for the most part because I want to do a lot of things outside. Hopefully that will happen. We shall see. And perhaps I'll even post some pictures.

Lots of funnies lately.

I promise to write real posts too but I've been getting a lot of funnies from friends and family that I just feel the desire to share so here is another one. I swear that my next post will be real. I make no claims as to what will happen after that one though. And so without further adieu...a funny


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This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors'
choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core
or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the
beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to
realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell
you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16
in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will
adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an
inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize
it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a
George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy
was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to
the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were
these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI,
unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything
'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin
and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down
to the local CVS armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end
your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to
take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss
your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of
condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Click to read a really good comic

Go here and read

haha funny from G33Klite.com

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

What I like about myself (part 2 of blog tour)

What do I like about myself? This is the latest subject willingly thrust upon me. Many in the tour have already posted their thoughts on themselves and for me this has been a bad and maybe good week for me to have this subject.

So, what DO I like about myself?

I like that I'm loyal, sometimes to a fault. I'll look past what others see and say deciding to make my own decision. I've done this for years. Someone may not care for someone else but that doesn't mean I can't. I was once told because a friend of mine had broken up with a guy that I should no longer be friends with him. But I'm sorry just because you two weren't right for each other doesn't mean I can't or won't be friends with them.

I like that I have a rather positive self view. I know I'm not the prettiest woman in the world but I'm not bad looking by any means. I may be a fat woman but I'm still attractive. Not everyone appeals to everyone else but there are people out there that like how I look and I'm comfortable in my own skin.

On that note I also like that when I do lose weight I don't continue to think I'm as big as a barn when clearly I'm not. I know many people who can't see that they have lost weight and that it is an accomplishment. I'm happy that I can be comfortable as a size 20 or a size 14 and realize that there is a difference between the two.

I like that while I may not be the smartest person in the world I do have a great amount of common sense.

I also like that I do have a pretty good grasp on things in that I don't just jump into decisions most of the time. The big ones take time to process and I am well aware of that. I won't just dive head first without making sure the water is deep enough to keep from cracking my head.

I'm happy that for the most part I'm an optimistic person. I believe that in the end things usually work out for the best regardless of the trip to get there.

I'm comfortable in my emotions. I am not ashamed that I cry when I get frustrated. I'm not ashamed that I giggle like a maniac sometimes to keep from crying.

I like that I'm a trusting person. That even when I've been burned in the past I still have the ability to trust again. I may trust differently or be a bit more careful but I refuse to put a wall around myself just because someone was false to me in the past. I believe they are the minority and that if I walled myself off from the rest of the worlds inhabitants I could do myself a great disservice.

I do like myself even with all my fuck ups and failures I do have achievements and successes. I am a good person even if I've done bad things. I have good friends and people who care about me and I wouldn't have that if I was a bad person.

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
(bonus points if you get the above reference)

What's up?

The following was sent to me in an e-mail with no reference but I thought it was a good read so I'm passing it along. - Grinningcomb

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There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so....... Time to shut UP.!

The Whore

Short post here a couple of people have asked who The Whore is and she is a former friend of double digit years who seemed to care more about her relationship with my husband than with me in the end. And that is a VERY long story short. It is possible (should anyone feel like looking) that a post in January could also be about the whore.