Why do we care?

Why do we care what others think of us? What is the purpose of it? It serves to make us feel bad or insecure or worried. Others judge us and it can do damage to our self esteem. If you are happy with you then be happy. Don't worry about what others think. Don't spend your life hiding who you really are because someone somewhere may not approve.

I'm not sure exactly who said this and I'm not exactly sure if it was worded this way. But the general idea I like.

The people that are worth it won't care and those that care aren't worth it.

The people in your life that choose to dislike you over something that is inherently you just aren't worth it. The people who choose to judge you and make assumptions of you because of rumors and hearsay aren't worth it. The people who are worth it are those that know you to the core and love and accept you for exactly who you are and actually KNOW who you are instead of thinking they know anything about you.

I have a lifestyle that not all understand or approve of. Some think that because I live this way I will attempt to steal someone away from their SO. It's just not the case no matter how much I care for someone I would never attempt to steal them. If they came willingly well that's another story. :D My dad cheated on my mom for a great many years and saw nothing wrong with it. He put my mom's health at risk and it's just not something I have the desire to do. I don't want to be the "other woman" to any man.

But regardless of what I say or how I say it some people will always assume that because of my lifestyle I'm a man stealer or want to be and you know what I just don't give a flying monkeys ass what they think. I did. But it's something I've had to start dealing with within myself. Why do I care what good is it for me to worry about what someone else thinks of me. They certainly aren't my friends so what does it matter? And in the end I realized it doesn't. So to those that think poorly of me and don't know me well kiss it because I am just not going to let it bother me anymore.

Thanks and have a great day!

My weekend

So I posted about no good deed and such. I'm feeling much better now. I still have an occasional back pain and will likely go to the chiro once I get a claim number from the insurance. I am supposed to go and get 2 quotes for my car repair. I was hoping it'd be like my accident where they gave me a list of places I could go and I wouldn't have to worry about the quote or anything like that but I guess it's not to be this time.

Saturday was Gehnen's b-day party. His b-day is actually Tomorrow (Tue) but we wanted to celebrate on the weekend to give us more time. We went to the park and BBQed some burgers and hotdogs. We also did some nerfing but not nearly as much as dear hubby would have liked. But I wasn't up to top form and my back was hurting me some at the time. We got there about 11 and are glad we did get there so early because the park and all the BBQ pits got full quite fast after we arrived. We ended up leaving just before 3 and enjoyed the day a great deal. Was absolutely perfect park weather.

Saturday night Alyssa and I went to a party for my co-workers b-day. Saturday was his actual birthday. Alyssa and I both ended up getting drunk. Neither of us had really had anything to drink since our SIL was out visiting in February and I think we've both become something of a light weight. And it wasn't any help that the very first drink we both had was a screw driver that was about half vodka and half OJ. The b-day boy was very generous. I also ended up fooling around a bit with one of the party guests. Good kisser that one. Alyssa had to assure another party guest that no my hubby would not be upset with me kissing another man which was actually nice to know that people out there are still concerned with fidelity.

Alyssa is quite a funny drunk. She was quite adamant about no one driving while drunk (which is a very good thing to be adamant about) but then she quite willingly got into the car of another guest (who was indeed drunk) so they could go to taco bell and obtain some food. Also after we left and I drove the 30 mins from where the party was to Alyssa's house she decided at that point that I was too drunk to drive and stole my keys from the ignition. My BIL Benny had to convince her that I was just fine to drive and that no Gehnen in fact would not be mad at her for letting me driving the rest of the way home.

Unfortunately the next day Alyssa had quite the hangover and has sworn off drinking...until we go to Vegas where she won't have much choice. ;)

Dream Job Blog Tour VII

So I completely miss a week and then I do that one and the current one back to back.

What is your dream job, and if you don't/didn't have it, how did that happen?

To be honest I had 3 dream jobs between first grade and my first year of college.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to be a teacher when I was in first grade. That is what I wanted to do. I'd have little craft kits and I'd set up my class room just so. I knew all this in 1st grade. I loved my teacher, she even went to my church so I ended up knowing her my entire school career (after a year of college I moved away and don't see her anymore). Said year in college was actually starting on my education degree. However shortly after taking some classes I realized it just wasn't for me and that I was out of my mind to think I'd make a good teacher. One of my best friends TC is a great teacher but she and I have near polar opposite personalities and mine just isn't the right one for teaching.

In 3rd grade I fell in love with marine biology. I loved (and do to this day) marine life. It amazes me. In fact I did a report on I think about 20 different marine animals completely voluntary. My teacher ended up grading it and even averaged that into my grade for the period I think. I was fascinated by it all. But the nitty gritty details I just didn't have the mind for.

My final dream job was to be a fashion designer. Oh goddess I love designing clothes however I do not have the skills needed for fashion design you know that little small skill known as drawing. It escapes my grasp. That and fashion is so hard to break into.

So what "dream job" do I want at this point in my life? I'd like to be an office manager some day. I think it'd be a good fit for me. I'm fair with co-workers and I'm good and keeping people flowing and on target I think without being an utter bitch about it all.

Bucket List Blog Tour part VI

Well the topic due last Sat was my very own topic and yet I didn't post it in time. Shame on me I guess. I posted a couple of times this just wasn't what I was in the mood to post on sorry guys.

So what do I want to do before my time on this round place ends?

I want to visit every US state.
I want to go overseas at least once: London, Paris, Australia, Italy, almost anywhere. :)
I want to lose weight and be a size 12
I want to make enough money to not worry about my monthly bills
I want to be able to go into a bookstore and buy 10 books without thinking about how this will hit my bank account.
I want to go on a vacation with my husband
I want to have kids
I want to go rock climbing on real rocks and not just indoors.
I want to meet Johnny Depp (so that might not happen but it'd sure be nice.)
I want to spend a day at the spa getting pampered
I want to finish the cross stitch I've been working on for 2 years so far. *smiles sheepishly*
I want to go back to Mt Shasta and spend a week or two camping there and climb up as far as I can on Mt. Shasta.

I'm sure there are plenty more but that's it for this list.

Real Live vs. Politics

No good deed goes unpunished

So I was going to pickup lunch for my boss because I have the freedom to leave before the lunch rush starts around here and he only has a 30 min lunch break. On the way to grab it I saw Fredrick walking home. He had been sent home because he was sick. So I offered to give him a ride home which he took me up on.

After I dropped him off I was on my way back to the office when the car in front of me slowed down because the car in front of him was turning. The truck behind me was going too fast or just didn't notice I had slowed down. Either way I glance up into my rear view mirror and see the look of terror on his face as he realizes he's going to hit me. And he hits me hard.

Bent my bumper and my license plate. And my truck is probably about a quarter of an inch higher than it should be. I was feeling fine at first and then started to get a headache while waiting for the police. They had to be called because he was in a company pickup truck and they have to have a police report filed.

So that took an hour or so for the cop to show up and do all his paperwork. So the accident happened around 11:30 and now 2ish hours later my back is really starting to hurt. My headache hasn't gone away despite the fact that I took 2 Excedrin as soon as I got back into the office. So as soon as I leave work it's off to Urgent care I go.

And so you see...no good deed goes unpunished.

Another rant.

On a forum I read someone posted about their child being in a school play and about the costume that all the little girls wore and how she, the mother, disagreed with the costume. It was your typical dance outfit a leotard and tights. The mom had a problem with the fact that they were nude tights and a black leotard. Now this is typical of nearly any dance studio that you could sign your kids up for.

This mom in particular was very unhappy at seeing her kid in this outfit (she didn't see it until her daughter was on stage at the performance). I'm sorry but I honestly just do not see the problem. Now many may disagree with me. But I think as a nation we can censor our kids and what they see too much.

What is so wrong with a child in a leotard and tights. She was upset particularly because they were nude tights and not black or something. But that costume usually hides all the necessary bits. I don't think I've ever seen a child look scandalous in that kind of a costume. And she wasn't even a solo act she was dancing with a number of other kids all in the same costume. Now some might say that "oh noes but a child molester might have seen them" I'm sorry but someone looking for kiddies is going to find something to get their kicks off to no matter WHAT the kid is wearing. They could be in jeans and a long sleeve shirt (or a floor length skirt for those that feel pants are more provocative) and some sick fuck into kids could still think horrid things about them.

We have gotten to an age (as a country) where we are far to paranoid that the worst is going to happen. (no the woman who put up the post that got me on my kick didn't suggest anything other than she thought it indecent I'm just ranting) I am sick and tired of it. I'm sorry but kids wearing dance outfits aren't going to become sluts or automatically going to signal some sicko somewhere to track them down. Nor are kids playing video games going to automatically go out with a gun because when they die there is another life to bring them back.

We need to parent our children but not encase them in bubbles that shatter upon their entry into the adult world. We need to help them make good decisions not take away the option to make any. We need to calm down and realize that while bad things do happen and you can protect yourself and your family unless you move to the wilderness and go back a few decades there is always the chance that something will happen.

We are raising a generation of children with two extremes and neither is good. To either protect them so much (like I could see happening in the case of the mother and daughter mentioned above) or to not parent them at all. We need to find a compromise and we need to change our way of thinking as a nation. It's not good to be so damned paranoid.


Also...I like what this person said.

Reliving Highschool?

The Demon keeps saying I'm reliving high school with all the drama that I have going on. Only thing is I never had this much drama while I was in high school. So she says that I'm making up for it. But the thing is I'd really rather not. It's not like the drama is fun. Some of the things that CAUSE the drama are, I'll admit, fun but the drama itself not so much. The craziness going on in my head where I know what I think/feel/want is wrong but my heart doesn't seem to want to pay attention.

Fredrick has recently admitted to me that he cares a great deal for me. Yes yes I know he's still with his bitch of a girl. And yes I know I should put a screeching halt to this on both his side and mine and yet I don't. Why not? Because a part of me hopes that he will realize just how bad the bitch is for him and he'll leave her. And if he does I'll get to date him. I realize this is a completely selfish thing to want. So I guess that's where the high school part comes in. I like a guy who's with another girl and he likes me back and right now it's going no where.

I know that many people won't like or understand this part of my life. But I don't want to go into all the details. I'm starting to get used to people placing judgment on me for how my husband and I chose to live our lives. Again for anyone who is worried I have no desire to steal anyone away from someone they care about. I'm just waiting for it to happen so I can get what I so selfishly want.